A friend and I took a trip this week to the mountains for some girl time and of course, Starbucks coffee since we don’t live close to one. On our drive, she asked how I was doing – a genuine, “Really, how are you doing?”
“I’m struggling. It’s hard. I feel like I’m stuck in the in-between. And that’s just where I’m at. I wish I could sugar coat it.”
She listened intently and understood my words. Deep down, the pride in me wanted to say I was fine. Really, I’m fine.
But I’m not and it’s okay. Like many of you, I miss routine, the excitement of summer sports activities, seeing people more frequently, gathering at church, not having to go inside stores with a mask that annoys me, only being able to walk through one set of doors in Walmart and Target, constant worries about my kids’ future, and more.
In our home life, I want to be more patient with my kids and not so irritable and easily set off.
I realized it’s okay to sit and not be fine. It’s okay to not have answers yet. All of us are in the “in-between” not only in this crazy pandemic, but as we wait on Jesus to make everything right again in this sin drenched world.
We’re all waiting for something.
And until then, there’s no need to pretend or wear an emotional mask to hide behind our soul sickness. We need friends right there with us who get it – not aiming to fix or give advice, just to be present in our pain. To truly care. More than that, we just need Jesus.
The very things I was missing God was answering as we drove along the highway. I had companionship to my right, iced coffee, and time in nature hiking. I had fellowship with another woman who deeply loves Jesus and encouraged my faith.
I can’t say I’m okay right now. I’m still struggling to trust. Maybe you are too. But Jesus hasn’t changed one bit. He answers prayer all the time in mysterious ways. His faithfulness is constant. His mercies are new every day. He knows the desires of your heart.
Sometimes I just don’t see it. And I’m thankful for the many friends God has put in my life who’ll sit with me right where I’m at and remind me of His goodness regardless of my roller coaster emotions.
“When our eyes run out of tears. When our pen is out of ink. When our prayers sound dry. When our words fall few. When our faith feels flat. He still is.” – Paige Pippin @thepaigepippin
Persevering with you dear friend,
Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife and mom to 4. She is the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches. Her writing appears regularly on Her View From Home, and Love What Matters. Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.