Loving the Man God Gave You

forthefamilyseptember

A few months ago, my husband found a killer deal for a nice bed frame off Craigslist that he wanted to get for us. We’d been married 9.5 years and had never experienced the thrills of a king-sized bed. The problem was that it was nap time for our kids and we had to drive his chevy pick up truck in order to haul the frame and mattresses and comforter and so on. Not to mention the air conditioner on his truck was out, and the trip was not exactly a hop, skip, and a jump.

“I don’t know about this trip,” I told Jeremiah who thrives on spontaneity. “We’ve got to haul a lot of stuff and our four needy kids.”

“It will be fine,” he responded. “They can sleep on the way.”

It will be fine. Those four famous last words…

Read the rest over on Forthefamily.org

Article: On Affirming & Building Up Your Man

This article just went live on  StartMarriageRight.com. This is a topic I’m really passionate about and learning a ton about in our marriage. Feel free to let me know what you think.

I was in Target’s parking lot a few months ago and noticed a good-looking couple walking towards the store as my husband Jeremiah and I headed out to our car. I noticed they had wedding rings on.

The woman was talking loudly in her husband’s face and waving her hands around. She eventually started chewing him out. It was evident, just in what little I heard, that this husband didn’t do what his wife had wanted him to do. She had no shame letting everyone else hear about her disappointment. As she yelled, this poor guy just kept walking and looking down at the pavement like a poor, pitiful puppy dog. I felt so sorry for him.

Jeremiah and I got into our car and I told him how I couldn’t believe how that wife had treated her husband. She made him look like a wimp who couldn’t stand up for himself. And the crazy thing is that it made her look even worse.

Loving your husband for who he is
That story had me thinking about the times I had regretfully embarrassed my husband, said inappropriate words, and didn’t build him up in private or in public.

Read the rest here…

A Passion for Marriage

sex-was-gods-idea-01Recently, my friend Cheli challenged me with something simple and profound. She said what if I lived my whole life with a passion for my marriage? Just how different would my marriage look?

I haven’t run into too many people who say they want to have a lifelong passion for their marriage. I often hear of a passion for a career, a life-long goal, sport, hobby, or whatever but not necessarily for their marriage. If we were passionate about working hard at our marriage, I bet people would stay together. Any time we have a passion for something, we tend to invest tons of time into that one thing. We can’t go a day with out it. And our life just isn’t complete without.

I’m determined to begin viewing my marriage with more passion. It’s not that I haven’t before but I want to have the mindset that my marriage is the most important thing than anything else right after my relationship with Christ. In the end, I think my son’s life will be most impacted by the kind of relationship I have with my husband, even more than the relationship I have with him. Did I love and respect my husband well? Did I show my son truly how to love another person with passion?

I sure hope so.

What does it look like for you to have a passion for your marriage? If you’re single, what does it look like to start becoming passionate about having the kind of marriage you dream of and working hard towards that?

Giving Respect

6-13-sweet-pearI’ve been reading through the book Sacred Marriage by Gary Thomas for some research for our upcoming Bluefish TV marriage series. I read the book last year for my small group but there’s just something about reading a book for the second time. 

Gary is a man full of wisdom who draws on his personal experiences being married to his wife, and from classic leaders and writers of the past. So many things Gary said challenged and spoke to me today. A concept he wrote about today was on the issue of respect- which happens to be what I’m learning most about right now in my marriage. He described how comparitively few Christians think of giving respect as a command or spiritual discipline. We are obsessed with being respected, but rarely consider our own obligation to respect others (54).

Wow! Isn’t that so true? Being the fact that I’m a woman created in the image of God, I’ve been commanded to respect my husband- when I may not agree, when I might be offended, or irritated, whatever, I’m called to show respect most importantly through my actions. It’s interesting how I can put on my best face in front of others and respect others easily, but when it comes to those I really love, I sometimes have a harder time. 

In our culture today, and since the fall, respect has always been an issue. Women, in particular, struggle with being domineering, controlling, and taking the authority that should be a man’s. But that is not our role at all as women. God’s word is pretty strong in saying that the word of God is blasphemed (I know it’s a weird word but it means insulting, showing contempt, or irreverence) when a woman tries to usurp the man’s role, leadership, authority, etc. God knows what he’s talking about. It simply “works” when we’re functioning rightly in our appropriate role. I see it in our marriage clearly when I go against God’s will for me as Jeremiah’s wife. In humility, I’m called to submit out of reverence toward my husband. This is not the kind of submission that some men have a skewed view on but the kind where the woman delights in submitting because she knows her husband loves and cherishes her.

Do you agree that the role of women/men is often reversed? What ways have you seen your marriage work beautifully when the love and respect is really happening? In general…Guys- what’s it like for you when a woman tries to overtake the role you were created to fill?

Switch to mobile version