told to be… still

I come from a line of “doers” so when the nurse told me today that I need to stay off my feet, I thought it would be impossible- especially with a toddler.

For the past few days, I’ve had really strong and firm braxton hicks contractions when I stand up, walk, do chores, anything. They only subside when I sit or lie down. It’s crazy because right at the moment I stand up, my abdomen is as hard as a rock. I have six weeks left until baby girl Krieger’s due date and so far my husband and doula have a suspicion she could come early October.

Yesterday, I sat down for an hour while Jeremiah played with John and it was really, really hard. But I think I’m learning a lesson already.

I’m not still enough and I don’t listen to God nearly enough.

While sitting in our lazy boy with my chubby toes propped up, I was able to reflect more on life and what was really going on. Life can get so fuzzy when you’re so busy. I’m having a baby and my sweet little boy is nearing two. I have an incredible husband and God is building our little family the way He desires. What a gift. It was as if God whispered in my ear that everything was going to be fine and that He was in control. I didn’t need to worry about the logistics of the baby’s arrival, our time table, the lack of sleep coming up with a newborn, or anything. God was handling it. And He would handle it.

I sensed such peace covering my anxious heart.

God is absolutely sovereign. Yes, I will make plans as best I can, but he directs my steps. He knew that I would get to the point in my pregnancy that I would just have to get off my feet.

Who knows if our baby girl will come early, right on time, or late. I’d love to know. But right now what I need the most in my life is to be still and know that He is God, and I am not.

Do you find it hard to be still?

IT’S A…

 BOY! We found out last Tuesday, June 3 that we’re having a baby boy- our heart’s desire. I had always wanted a boy and it’s so neat that God is going to be giving us just that. Our ultra-sound tech went through all the parts of the baby to make sure they were good and healthy. Our hearts were beating so fast because we couldn’t wait to hear what she would say. Finally, she asked us if we wanted to know what it was.

We both said, “YES!” She smiled and said you have yourselves a little boy! I couldn’t believe it. I couldn’t stop smiling the whole day. Seeing all the intricate parts of him inside me was so amazing. He was sleeping when the tech was looking at all his parts, but he finally started to wave a little when she moved my belly more firmly. I couldn’t believe he could sleep with all that was going on.

It was such a precious, surreal moment. That night I baked a cake with blue icing and our best friends here in Dallas, Jay and Julia celebrated with us and decorated it with sail boats. They also bought us pacifiers (I got teary eyed when opening them up), bottles, and an adorable newborn outfit. It really began to hit then and it’s hitting more and more now that I’ve outgrown my clothes and should start gaining a pound a week.

I definitely have fears about being a “Mommy” and bringing a new life into the world. I have fears about the responsibility and what it will be like. I know these are probably natural though and my prayer is that I will continue to learn and grow through this pregnancy and be all that I need to be for this precious life.

We’re at the 21st week- half way there. And baby boy Krieger is due to arrive in this world on October 17- give or take. Will he arrive on Jeremiah’s birthday, the 20th? We’ll see.

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