I sometimes wonder if I’m the only one feeling this certain tension.

Since the day we were awakened by the tragic news of Haiti, my heart has been burdened by its devastating horror, the countless babies, children, and people in distress, what our nation needs to offer in terms of aid, and what my family and friends can do to help. But it’s also been filled with something else.

If “Haiti”- all hell breaking loose, suffering, pain, and the deepest agonies ever imaginable, were to enter my life here in America, would I still trust God?

I have never known suffering like the Haitian people are experiencing at this moment. I want to trust that God is good all the time, but sometimes I just really fear suffering. I’d rather put my security in comfort.

Oh, but is that really all there is?

There is T E N S I O N because I know that as a follower of Christ, it won’t always be an easy road. I’m figuring that out as the hands on the clock get faster. I think we have to come to the point in our relationship with Christ that we will love him, trust him, serve him, and surrender to him regardless if we experience his blessings or not.

I don’t know if I can say that I’m there right now, but I want to be. And while I question God and wonder what in the world He’s doing at times (especially right now), I have to lean in on the truth that He is a good God and is worthy of my life in times of suffering and in times of joy.

He’s got the whole world in his hands, even Haiti.

Be still, and know that I am God. I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth! – Psalm 46:10