Dear Son: Will You Please Stay 5 Forever?

Last night, we cuddled under your dream tent and read Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site. As I read you squeezed my arm and said, “I love you, Mama” with your double-dimpled smile.

“I love you, too, Will. I want you to stay this age forever.”

“But I won’t,” you said so matter-of-factly.

And my heart ached a bit—tracing back to when your big brother was five and he’s now 10 years old strutting double digits, glasses, and a shoe size the same as mine. My eyes grew watery thinking about how fast time has gone with you and your siblings. And how you only have a few months left of morning preschool with Mrs. Brenda and Mrs. Ashley. In the fall, you’ll be heading out the door with a backpack and lunch sack just like your brother and sisters…

** Continue Reading my article this month over on Her View From Home.

Motherhood & the moment that found me on a Tuesday afternoon

I dropped him off last Tuesday for his first day of preschool. I’m still wrapping my mind around the reality that this is his last year before Kindergarten. My fourth child Will is losing his baby face and becoming a young boy.

After picking him up, we made macaroni and peaches for lunch. We looked out the window and noticed the grey storm clouds rolling in. Rain began to fall and sounded like marbles dropping on our roof. After it settled down, we went outside to explore puddles and find worms.

“Momma, look the baby one! Aww!” Will exclaimed.

He’s always had a passionate love for bugs, worms, rolly pollies, frogs, and anything crawling.

As Will splashed in the puddles – stomping his camouflage boots- I knew this was the real stuff of life right here. Nothing fancy. Nothing grand. Not a Disney World experience. Just a rainy, typical Tuesday afternoon with my brown-eyed boy. Some would call it mundane, but I found it magical. Heavenly, in fact.

A moment where there were no struggles with his strong will, but he was completely content as a friend to the worms. It was a moment where we were together, and the cool breeze and leaves falling on the ground gave us joy that fall was on its way.

Will bent down near one of the puddles looking for new wiggly creatures. He scooped them up and stretched them out with his fingers.

“Look?! I’m tearing them apart Mommy!” his hands were shaped like a spider-web.

The rain water revealed a reflection of his little hand and I thought back on his delivery day that summer in August when his tiny little fingers curled around my own and he was completely dependent on me for his life and sustenance. When I couldn’t stop smelling his newborn scent or kissing his cheeks.

Now, he no longer needs the comfort and nourishment from my breasts but walks and runs as he pleases- constantly on the go and seeking adventure. This unlatching has brought new milestones and growth that have made him more and more independent. Yet, he still needs Mommy just as much as he did on the day of his birth.

In it all, God has been growing him in each precious season of his life. He has sustained his very life and breath. In the day to day, typical moments. In his first steps, words, and solid foods. In potty training, naps, and discipline. In making friends, learning to share, and listening to daddy and mommy. In sleeping, eating, and drinking. In reading books, walking to the park, riding bikes, and much more.

I’ve been grateful to be by my son’s side in every single stage—the challenging and the joyful. The I-just-blew-it moments. The mundane and the magnificent. I wouldn’t trade it for the world and I know these are the days I’ll look back on when I’m older and want again.

After playing in the puddles and awaiting his brother and sister’s arrival home, out of nowhere Will gave me a huge squeeze on my cheeks – to the point where it kind of hurt. I then realized where those fingers had just been- ripping apart those worm bodies!

“Eww, Will! You got worm juice all over my face!” I cringed and squirmed. “Gross!” I yelled.

We laughed together, and he ran to grab the bottle of soap.

Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife and mom to 4. She is the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches. You can connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.

Remember the Past

1077990_memories This past weekend, Jeremiah broke out some of his old CD’s he had stashed away. He played a CD that impacted him a lot during some really hard times growing up. He got so excited about it and shared with me a story related to that song. The crazy thing was that some of the same songs he loved, I loved too. Yet we were in two different places. I was in North Carolina and he was in Michigan and we knew nothing about each other.

Listening to the words of those songs brought back so many memories for me. It reminded me of where I’ve come from and where I am today. I was encouraged and actually strengthened by the lyrics just like I was several years ago. I was reminded of some of my frustrations, struggles, dreams, and even that longing to find “the one” some day. I think that’s what I always thought about in college at least.

Remembering the past really is critical for today. In marriage, it’s easy to just live life and forget your history together. To just be comfortable. To lose that spark. And sometimes not “feel” in love. But marriage must be based on truth and not on temporary feelings. After listening to Jeremiah’s CDs, I looked at some of our honeymoon photos and journal entries and reflected back to when we were dating. It made me excited and encouraged by all that we’ve gone through together and to see where we are today.

I’m starting to realize even more that in my relationship to Christ, it’s so important to remember the past to be encouraged today. Walking by faith with someone you’ve never seen can get hard. The fire that was once kindled so brightly can quickly burn out. Mediocrity can creep in. And it’s easy to forget God’s work and to quit on getting to know Him in his word. It’s easy to not let others into your world. All of the latter is something that I fear so much that I’m trying to do everything I can to “stay at it” and to persevere in my faith. But I think I make it much harder than it needs to be. I want my faith in Christ to be more of a delight in a person, and not a mere Christian duty.

Continuing to reflect on the past every once in a while in my marriage and relationship to Christ will hopefully carry me all the way through to finish strong… with few regrets.

Memories in Mackinac Island

Jeremiah and I just returned from our vacation/babymoon in Mackinac Island in Michigan. This trip was sandwiched in between two baby showers given by Jeremiah’s family, a trip to Lake Michigan to see the gorgeous Dunes, and staying with his Uncle Rick and Aunt Sue and their kids. This was truly a special trip for us and it was great to get away from the busy life we lead here in Dallas.

The time we had alone, just him and I on the island was such a gift. He surprised me with a charming suite at the Inn at Stonecliff- a tucked away inn on the northern side of the island. We took a horse and buggy up to the inn and I fell in love with it as soon as I saw the green, lush lawn with the inn in the distance. We stayed at their summer house.

Every meal we had on the island was superb (and the service was great). We rode bikes (several miles) right on the road near the coast, visited the historic sites, watched sunsets, played crochet, ate fudge and icecream (Mackinac is known for their fudge), spent time relaxing at the library right on the water, ate more fudge and icecream, and did what normal married couples do. 🙂 Most of all, it was a wonderful time of bonding in our marriage and realizing this would be one of our last vacations, just him and I. All along, we had prayed the Lord would really bless the time we had and He did above and beyond that.

I’m so thankful for the ability to travel and see God’s creation. Michigan is such a beautiful place in the summer (I can’t say I love the winters there). Mackinac was a little treasure for us. Jeremiah blew me away with that gift and more and more, I am amazed that God has given me the gift I have in Jeremiah. He’s a leader, takes initiative, adores his wife, cares for people, is a man of integrity, is consistent, makes me laugh, talks to his soon-to-be-born son, and most of all- seeks to know Jesus with all his heart. I know not every woman has this in a husband, and all I can say is that it’s solely God’s grace on my life.