Motherhood. You never know the extent of what to expect until you actually become a mom for the first time and begin living out the joys and challenges. Nine years ago, I didn’t know what I was in for after I delivered my first born child on a beautiful October morning in Dallas. I’m certainly better today because of the sanctifying, dying-to-self work that’s required in mothering and nurturing my four children today.

Here are seven truths that would’ve helped me prepare for the journey:

1.) Sleep-Deprivation is the new normal. Sleep? Who needs it anyway? Because the first few years you won’t be getting it so you might as well live with it. Coffee will be your best friend even if you didn’t drink it before. Sneaking in naps when the time allows will be your saving grace. Don’t feel guilty for giving your body the rest it needs.

2.) You’ll love your child so much that it hurts. Disobedience, harsh words, tantrums, sibling fighting — oh how it can make your blood boil and provoke you to anger. It hurts when your child hurts you, others, and doesn’t obey. But loving your child wholeheartedly means risking wholeheartedly too. I promise, it’s still worth the risk to keep loving them unconditionally.

3.) Prioritizing your husband is a non-negotiable. Your kids can be thriving in the home, but if your relationship with your husband isn’t, then adjustments need to be made. Do everything you can to put your husband first and not make excuses in the midst of the chaos and demands for, “Mommy! Mom! Momma!?” Protect your marriage like it’s your newborn baby.

4.) Fingerprints on newly cleaned windows, playdough stuck in the carpet, and pee everywhere is only the beginning of the never-ending messes. We’re barely scratching the surface here, moms. Get ready for the mess because it will be daily and sometimes it will be GROSS. Every home has them, large and small. Kids will be kids. Don’t let the messes get under your skin too much even if you’re OCD.

5.) Motherhood is sacrificial, unnoticed work. Promotions? Bonuses? Affirmation and praise from your boss and co-workers? Lunch breaks? Maybe at your job, but not exactly in your role specifically as “mom.” You’ll barely get a bathroom break. Your work in the daily grind will often be disregarded and unappreciated. But your reward is in heaven and God sees. Your kids do too, even if they don’t express it. Look for the “sweet” in the sacrifices and by all means indulge in some chocolate.

6.) You need your mom friends and they need you. Isolation is an enemy because you’ll feel you’re all alone and your circumstances are different than other moms, adopting a “why me?” mindset. Authentic community with other moms brings you outside of yourself, realizing that we all face similar struggles. Let others into your reality even if it’s not exactly tidy. Reach out to friends for their help and support in this season of your life.

7.) Even in your imperfections, building a legacy and investing in the life of your child is an amazing gift. No matter how hard and taxing motherhood is on you emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and regardless of your flaws and mistakes, you are still pouring your life out for the good of your child. The seeds you’re planting will one day come to fruition: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

And… don’t forget to give yourself lots of grace (and good coffee!).

Blessings,

Samantha Krieger

• This article originally appeared on TheCourage.com

Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife and mom to 4. Through personal stories and scripture, she is passionate about helping women live out their faith in real life. She is the author of  Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches.