One Fact in Motherhood: Some Days Everything Falls Apart


my baby boy (2 mos)

{written last night}

Today was a circus.

The 5 year old, almost 3 year old, 1 year old, and baby were all cranky from the moment their toes hit the floor. Okay so not the baby’s toes exactly. But anyway, constant noise, screams, and whines echoed through the walls all day long. The 5 year old lied three times and threw some verbal punches at his sister. Careless words I’d never heard before. Pinching, hitting, crying, and the like. No one napped on schedule like they usually do.

We converted the almost 3 year old’s crib into her big girl bed and what was supposed to be a joyous occasion was quite interesting. Jeremiah had spent most of the day getting a new mattress and box spring up north and putting it all together when he got home. Our precious little girl seemed thankful and excited for a short time but ended up throwing fits and calling Daddy and Mommy names.

While all that was happening, the 5 year old was out playing wonderfully with the 1 year old and then he decides to push her in the one spot of the yard with mud. Her face and arms are caked with mud. More discipline came after that and then I scrubbed her off in the tub. Meanwhile, the 2 month old baby is fussy and needing all my attention and dinner needs to be served next, but the chicken chili is too hot and the older kids are complaining they don’t like it. (They liked it a few months ago.)

My head is spinning and I feel like I’m going to pass out from being up 3 times the night before. It’s all I can do to focus on the next task.

And then Daddy and Mommy have about had it with all the noise and fuss and start getting on each other and World War III (like the Sara Groves song) is about to erupt in the kitchen. Oh wait, it sort of already did amongst the dishes and debris. All little eyes are staring us down.

So Mommy runs upstairs to escape the chaos and have a good cry because let’s be honest, if that didn’t happen, all you know what would have broke out because when Mama’s not happy, nobody is. I didn’t want to hear the word “mommy” one more time.

Yes, this is reality some days. Thank goodness days like today aren’t this bad. I wish it was prettier. I wish I could say I got through the day because I thought about how I would miss this when they’re teenagers or that I got through the day because of the blessings and joys of being a mom regardless of the challenges. Or that it goes by so fast and I need to enjoy it.

But it wasn’t like that today.


It was survival mode from the minute my feet hit the floor. I barely had time for a shower. No time for makeup. My husband and I have barely looked each other in the eyes today and it was his day off.

And right now, I’m so glad they’re all in bed and I can breathe and hear my fingers hit the keyboard as I write this.

“This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, Jeremiah,” I said to my husband a few minutes ago.

He gets it because he’s right with me through it all. The emotions, physical exhaustion, the spiritual battles, the sleep deprivation, the demands… There is so much that goes into loving and raising our children that we had no clue about before kids.

And I think to myself, is this what we signed up for? Holy cow. Four kids all still so young. God, you really think I can handle this?

After bellies are full, thing simmer down, and I’m able to think I ask my husband for forgiveness and we reconcile. I ask my older kids for forgiveness and we hug and talk about the conflict.

And that’s when the only thing that comes to mind is grace and God’s goodness. That’s all I’m left with at the end of the day. When all the happenings in my home are squeezing the life out of me and it’s all I can do to hold back tears from being so overwhelmed, God’s still voice says:

Anyone in these circumstances would struggle, Samantha.

It’s not going to be easy.

This is your sanctification.

But, I’ve got you.

Motherhood is your mission.

There is purpose in this.

I’m with you.

I’ll help you hold on.

Everyone’s going to survive.

I will use this for good.

I love you.

Even in times of brokenness, chaos, feelings of failure, shame and absolute exhaustion, His arms are open wide to carry the burden for me.

And I am so thankful for that tonight.

He is who I will cling to when my head hits the pillow. It is He who I will ask to help me better love my children the next day. It is He who I will trust to bring new mercies and change me in the beautiful, messy, joyful, necessary, difficult, rewarding, purposeful work of motherhood.

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New Article: 8 Non-Negotiables for Dads with Daughters-


Lately, I’ve been inspired by the importance of the daddy-daughter relationship and I wrote about it recently on After all, I’m a Daddy’s girl myself!

This was my first article geared primarily for dads and I’ve been so humbled by the response it’s getting and have really appreciated hearing from readers. It makes me realize this is truly a need in our culture today. Feel free to share your thoughts over there and thanks for reading!

8 Non-Negotiables for Dads with Daughters

A couple months ago, my kids were playing upstairs when my two-year-old daughter Rebekah starts screaming at the top of her lungs. I ran upstairs to find that she’d cut her eyebrow from jumping off the bed onto her brother’s train table.

Since it looked bad, I called my neighbor for help so I could take Rebekah to the Urgent Care clinic. After waiting and being seen, the doctor explained that she’d need three stitches. The nurses and I held Rebekah down while the doctor threaded her skin. Her eyes filled with tears as she shouted, “D-a-d-d-y … D-a-d-d-y!”

Read the rest over on

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You Might be a Stay-at-Home Mom to Four Kids, 4 & Under If…

4 kiddos

1. You find your morning cup of coffee still sitting in the microwave at 5:00 PM

2. The most popular comments in public are, “Wow, you have your hands full!” and “Are ALL those yours?”

3. You have 10 pacifiers and can’t find any of them

4. Sitting in the church service with your husband feels like a date

5. You no longer have to apologize to your company for the house being a disaster

6. You can’t remember the last time you had a full night’s sleep

7. The only break you get is a bathroom break

8. Breaking up fights and disciplining is your job whether you like it or not

9. You won’t dare go to the grocery store unless you are alone

10. Your third child doesn’t mind eating off your second child’s breakfast plate (sometimes cold)

11. You have to schedule your morning around how many dirty diapers you’ll have to change before going out

12. You consider lifting a 2 1/2 year old, 1 year old, and newborn as your weight training class

13. You get angry that there aren’t more mom-friendly, healthy drive-thru restaurants

14. You have to think twice whether or not you forgot a child

15. Visiting a chiropractor is a non-negotiable

16. You throw your kids at your husband as soon as he walks in the door

17. You pack all your kids in your van for a drive so you can have a conversation with your husband

18. Mother’s Day out and morning preschool are lifelines

19. You’ve become good friends with your Pediatrician

20. The only way to cook a meal is to put a kids show on

21. You are amazed you even got through another day

22. You’re humbled because your son’s teacher wrote you an email this week saying he’s pretty much her top student. She didn’t know you’ve felt like a failure of a mom lately

23. You realize more than ever how precious life is and it’s not a cliche that it’s truly a gift

24. You want other people to experience the blessing of children, even when motherhood – no matter how many kids you have – is the hardest.job.ever

25. You are surprised that your capacity to love grows richer and deeper

26. You find yourself not wanting to ever miss out on each child’s first milestone because you know how fast time has flown with the oldest

27. You pray every day that your children will come to know and love Jesus in spite of you

28. You ask God to do great things in and through your children so they can make a difference in the lives of others

29. You start to understand that the daily, difficult, messy, complicated, satisfying, beautiful, mundane tasks in motherhood and raising children are working together for a greater purpose. When you serve them, you serve God.

30. It’s a miracle that you finished this blog post!

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What to do With Miley


photo credit:

You’ve probably heard about Miley Cyrus’s performance last night at MTV’s VMAs. I didn’t watch the VMAs but I saw a clip on CNN and that was enough to know why everyone is shocked. My jaw definitely dropped. This morning I was debating about tweeting, “Mommas and Daddy’s: Don’t let your babies grow up to be like Miley.”

Then I thought long and hard about those words and I chose not to tweet them. I needed to shut my mouth and pray for her and really look beyond the show of it all and see the obvious brokenness. My heart grew sad for her because God wants so much more for her life.

Author and blogger Annie Downs wrote today:

While today’s headlines are tearing her [Miley] to shreds, we as Christians HAVE to sound different than the world. We HAVE to yell a different chant in her direction about how God made her on purpose and how she is valuable because of WHO she is, not WHAT she does. I’m not saying we ignore the influence she is having, but if we want to help her [and that is the question titling this post after all], then we have to look at her with eyes of compassion and have our words sound from there.

Eyes of compassion is definitely something I need because I’m initially judgmental and angry over things like this. I mean, rightfully so, right? But then I have to remember what God has saved me from and is saving me from. I’m no different than Miley, just a sinner saved by grace. And I sure need compassion from others every day.

My brokenness might not be manifested on a stage for all the world to see, but God sure knows my sins, struggles, and areas where I have yet to be Christ-like in. And the Lord knows that without him, I am a mess. I constantly need his forgiveness and grace.

I pray that Miley will come to know Jesus. I pray that Christians will extend unconditional love to her and help bring her to the One who can heal her brokenness.

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Help Us Name Our Baby!

It’s hard to believe I am due with our fourth child in less than one week (Thursday, July 25). Okay so the truth is that Jeremiah and I are having a difficult time nailing down the perfect name for our baby boy. And well… we are running out of time! We haven’t had that “Aha!” moment yet where we really feel it and both agree but we do have some ideas.

We thought we’d open up the discussion to our friends and readers of this blog and get your opinion. We did this last year with our daughter Hannah’s middle name and it was a lot of fun. Also if it helps, here is the story behind this baby boy– he is our sweet God-given surprise.


Here are the names we like so far and the significance. (Oh yeah and our last name is pronounced KREE-ger):

William Anthony Krieger: We like the meaning of William: “determined protector.” We like that it’s traditional and strong and would consider calling him Will. Short and sweet like our son John. Anthony is Jeremiah’s middle name, named after his grandfather.

Luke Daniel Krieger: Biblically, Luke means “bearer of light.” It’s a cool-yet-strong New Testament name. We also like that it’s short. We like Daniel because it flows well as a middle name and would rhyme with our son John Samuel. Daniel means “God is my judge.” We aren’t sure though if Luke sounds good with our last name Krieger- since they both have the hard “k” at the end and beginning. Not sure if that’s a big deal though.

Jeremiah David (J.D.) Krieger: My husband Jeremiah prefers not naming our son after him but we figured we’d throw it in here anyway with the option of calling him J.D. We aren’t sure if we are sold on having his name be an initial though.

David Jeremiah Krieger: David is Hebrew for “Beloved” and most of you know about David in the Bible. It’s a strong, masculine name that seems to flow well with our other kids’ names. And we could have Jeremiah as the middle name.

Above is a recent photo of our kids: John (4 1/2), Rebekah (2 1/2), and Hannah (1). Which name do you think would fit well into our family? If you have any suggestions other than the names in the poll, please share your thoughts in the comments above. It’s not guaranteed we will use one of these names but for now it’s what we have and hopefully it will get us closer, if not to the one.

Thank you so much!

Now, it’s your turn to vote:

[poll id=”4″]

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Just a Note to Say…

coffee-cup-and-computerI’m still here!

I know it has been several weeks since I’ve posted. I’ve been working on a few writing projects that have taken up most of my hard-to-find spare time- a story for an upcoming Focus on the Family book (yay!), a few new articles, and a book review for my former professor, mentor, and friend Karen Swallow Prior’s new book, Booked: Literature in the Soul of Me. I’m in the midst of her review and will be posting a giveaway here soon so stay tuned.

A lot is happening in our home too. My husband has been thick into remodeling our master bath (quite the project!). As you can imagine with three young kids, it has been crazy. But we are so excited to be nearing the end of it. On Thursday, it will be two weeks until I’m due with our 4th child! It feels like yesterday that I was just writing the post about our surprise baby. Our baby boy will Lord willing complete our family so I’m really trying to savor all that’s happening right now.

I certainly value your prayers in this season of life. Feel free to drop a comment or email. I’d love to hear how you are doing.

As always, thank you for reading!

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How Our Life Together Began at the River {An Engagement Story}

We’d been walking for a few miles. The humidity was thick and my jeans stuck to my sweaty legs. It was our fourth day in Israel and Jordan and my boyfriend Jeremiah and I were with our seminary professor and classmates, visiting and learning about all the sites Jesus once walked. We were so excited to see the Jordan River for the first time. Both having grown up in the church, we had learned about it all our lives, and now we finally got to experience it.

We arrived at the bank of the Jordan and it was more narrow than I thought. I sat my backpack down on a rock so I could take pictures with friends. After a few minutes, I went back over to my bag to get my hairbrush out which was so random because I normally wouldn’t stop and brush my hair in a moment like this. When I reached for the front pocket, I stumbled upon a small black leather box with white stitching on it.

What is that? I wondered. Then something clicked and I was sure I knew. My heart raced. Was this really it?

Jeremiah rushed over and took the box as if I wasn’t supposed to see it in my bag. He looked really nervous and excited.

He smiled, opened the ring box, and got down on one knee. I started giggling.

“Samantha, just as John the Baptist baptized Jesus in the Jordan River and it represented the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, I want this to represent our new life together in marriage. Will you marry me?

I laughed some more and started crying.

Jordan River 2“Yes! Yes!”

He slid the ring on my finger and it fit perfectly. We hugged and kissed and I couldn’t stop smiling.

Our professor captured the proposal along with some of our friends. I finally took the time to really look at the ring and I couldn’t believe it. It was beautiful, classy, big, round, and flawless. During our 7 months of dating I didn’t spend a lot of time looking at rings. Jeremiah and I had shopped a few times for fun but I figured if he knew me well enough, he would know what I liked. And did he ever! I couldn’t stop looking at it. Its brilliant sparkle reminded me that life was certainly about to change. I would get to spend the rest of my life with the one I loved. The one God had given to me.

I was on cloud nine on the trail back to our bus. I couldn’t believe how he got me and surprised me out of nowhere. He had asked my dad for permission to marry me a few weeks before the trip when we were visiting my parents in Texas. I thought for sure he would have popped the question after Israel. But he carried the ring on the plane, through customs, security, several hotels, and excursions for four days. Needless to say he was happy to have the surprise off his chest. I thought more about how it couldn’t have been more perfect to be engaged right where we were.

Our next stop happened to be the Dead Sea, often called the Salt Sea, which borders Jordan to the East. A classmate offered to hold my ring while Jeremiah and I went for a dip with everyone. We floated on top of the water and it refreshed our souls from the intense middle eastern heat. Jeremiah held me in his arms and it was as if the world had stopped. The embrace of my future husband was all I need. I was going to be his and he would be mine. I had given my word to him, my promise. Our wedding day and new life together was on the horizon.Jordan River 1

Looking back on that significant day eight years ago {June 4, 2005} brings me nothing but great joy. There are those moments in life that God gives and you feel nothing but his sweet presence, where his love for you is absolutely overwhelming. It’s almost as if he gives you a little taste of the perfection that will be awaiting in heaven.

Jeremiah and I knew from the beginning that our relationship wasn’t just about us, but what God was doing and he has always confirmed that in our hearts. I have believed that all these years. In December we will celebrate our eight year wedding anniversary.

Before marriage, we had no idea the trials that would come our way. We didn’t quite grasp the hard work that’s required to be one as a couple and how we would have to fight daily against our selfish, sinful natures. We wouldn’t learn all of this through a book or classroom but by sitting in the school of experience.

We also had no idea how God would fashion and shape us more like him and give us the sweetest, most precious gifts we have ever tasted within the sacred covenant of marriage: unity, servanthood, companionship, fulfillment, purpose, passion, sexual intimacy, friendship, forgiveness, satisfaction, mission, the blessing of children, and unconditional love just to name a few. We had no idea how God would show us the true meaning of sacrificial, * till death we do part * love and commitment. And we are praying by God’s grace that he will give us many more years to have together.

There’s no doubt that the love I have towards my husband is deeper and wider than when I said “yes!” It is a different kind of love yet it is still the same. We are still the same people we were then yet we’ve changed and grown in so many different ways. Today on our engagement anniversary my heart is grateful for God’s faithfulness.

Through the calm and the storms in our lives, He has always been faithful just as he was that day on the river.

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Grace to An Imperfect Mom

225386_898597816168_55713931_42724790_2476659_nYesterday was just one of those days in motherhood. My three kiddos were extremely demanding, whiny, needy, disobedient, and hard to handle.

And I didn’t have much to give them. I have felt that way a lot lately being 29 weeks pregnant. I have felt like the imperfect mom a lot. But God always has a way of saving us when we feel like we’re at the end of our rope.

I remembered I had a bridesmaid dress fitting for my sister-in-law’s upcoming wedding. So last minute I asked my wonderful neighbors Angela and Aimee if they could help watch the kids. They got back to me immediately, were over in just a few hours, and held down the fort. Within only 10 minutes of driving down the interstate alone, I felt relief and like I could actually be a good mom when I returned.

That day I had also been struggling with lonliness and body image- two things I don’t struggle with regularly but do every once in a while. When I got to Alfred Angelo and tried on my dress, I opened the fitting room door to show the lady who did my alterations. We talked about how this was my fourth pregnancy and how my belly would grow more in the next few weeks before the wedding. A mom with her daughter overheard us and yells over at me, “This is your fourth pregnancy?” Her jaw dropped.

I wasn’t sure what she was meaning in her tone of voice.

“Yes it is, do you think that’s crazy?” I asked.

“No, you look so good!” she responded. “It looks like this is your first! I can’t believe it!”

I laughed and said thank you. It was reassuring that maybe I didn’t look like a whale afterall. The drive on the way back home was so pleasant and when I walked in the door, Angela and Aimee surprised me and had cleaned the whole downstairs of my house! They picked up everything on the floor, folded 2 big baskets of laundry, unloaded the dishwasher, cleaned my daughter’s nursery, picked up the entire playroom, organized books and crafts on the shelf, and more.

They did all of this while watching their kids and mine (a total of 6 little ones).

My husband had also gotten home and picked up some needed groceries and surprised me with a dozen red roses.

I was amazed at Angela and Aimee’s generosity and thoughtfulness. They served me with their time and mad cleaning skills and helped lift me up. And who doesn’t always appreciate flowers from their husband to know he really does care?

I had no idea all of that was coming my way, but God did. He reminded me that He was there and working and cared about how I felt and the neverending demands of raising and investing in your children.

I don’t know where you’re at in your motherhood journey but I’m guessing that if you’re like me, you need more time to yourself. You need more time with your husband. Maybe you struggle with yelling, anger, impatience, balancing work and being at home, depression, finding real community, or comparing yourself to other moms and friends.

Maybe you struggle with all the expectations that come with Mother’s Day approaching. The reality is that our kids don’t always show their love and obedience to us even on that day. And we might even get in an argument with our husband on the way to church. I’m pretty sure that happened to us last Mother’s Day.

I think it’s safe to say that as Mommas we need to let go of expectations, our failures, insecurities, and our dreams of perfection and allow God’s grace to shower us like a cool, refreshing rain after the scorching summer heat.

His love is there to draw upon whenever we need it and it is in Him where we find our full satisfaction and joy. He knows we are weak too. We fall short every day. That is why we need him. That is why we need the body of Christ and each other. We need his grace to change us from the inside out and to give us hope.

Well by the time bedtime came, I didn’t have to do anything except help put my kids to bed. I felt renewed to love them again and give them the attention they deserve. Thankfulness flooded my heart. I laid my head down and slept the best 8 hours I’ve slept in a long time.

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A Letter to My Son, On Manhood, Mission, & Meaning in Life


This letter was inspired by the sadness in my heart from the recent headlines regarding young men in our city and culture as a whole.

Dear John Samuel,

I consider my role as your Momma and the time I have on this earth to raise you a serious responsibility and privilege to which I will be held accountable to God.

Every day I get to spend with you reading books, playing in the yard, cuddling on the couch, nourishing your belly, going on adventures, meeting people, having conversations with you about Jesus, writing letters and numbers, playing soccer, answering your questions, listening to your fears and concerns, disciplining you and more is a gift to invest in your precious life.

When I look at you I don’t always see the handsome 4-year-old, brown eyed boy that you are, but I see the man you will be one day.

That vision puts a healthy fear inside my heart to love and nurture you well.

As your Momma, right alongside Daddy, I promise to teach you as best I know how what it means to honor and cherish the women in your life. To treat them with love, gentleness and respect. To practice self-control, integrity, and perseverance. To be a man of character, commitment, and discernment.

I will help you understand what it means to stand up when everyone else around you cowards. To be a servant leader whose life is marked by humility, honesty and love- not pride, position, and power. To be a man who is stable, responsible and teachable. To follow and obey God’s commands to value and treasure all human life because He is our Creator and the ultimate authority.

As you grow older, you’ll realize how difficult it is to do the right thing. This world and your flesh will tempt you to neglect God’s goodness and follow your own passions and lusts. Don’t give in to these lies. The wide road will trip you up and lead to danger, destruction or even death. Follow the narrow road where you’ll find joy, wholeness, meaning, peace and abundant life in Christ.

As your Momma, I know I’ll fail you at times and let you down because I’m not perfect. I struggle at times to do what is right. You already know that. But God is perfect and will never fail you. He is the one who will help you become a man who influences others and brings peace, joy, and life to everyone around him. Not chaos, sadness, and harm.

In God’s strength, I will do my best to help you understand the purpose God has for you here on earth. I’ll do my best to teach you that meaning in life is found in Christ. When you know Him personally, you will see that He heals brokenness, redeems the ugliest situations, raises the dead to life and transforms the hardest hearts.


3 arrows representing her 3 boys. Painting by my dear friend, Laura Short

I also believe that our home is the training ground for the mission you’ll be on one day. I believe that the discipline, love, security, and boundaries that happen in our home will greatly impact the man you’ll become. God has given you and your sisters (and brother on the way) as arrows for your Daddy and I to aim and shoot in the right direction.

One day, we’ll have to release you into battle where you’ll make your own decisions and choices. You’ll have the choice to put all that you learned about God’s word, life, and love into practice. And all Mommy and Daddy will be able to do is pray for you.

Until then, my precious child, allow the Lord to direct your steps. Follow His path and pursue holiness and righteousness. This world needs your voice. Your heart. Your life. Your leadership. Your God.

I love you and I’m cheering you on, son.

All of my love,


Children are a heritage from the Lord,
offspring a reward from him.
Like arrows in the hands of a warrior
are children born in one’s youth.
Blessed is the man
whose quiver is full of them.
They will not be put to shame
when they contend with their opponents in court. – Psalm 127:3-5

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New Article: I Love You, But How Do I Like You?

0035This week, I’m over at Start Marriage Right sharing some practical thoughts on loving your spouse for the long haul.

After my husband asked me out on our first date, we were inseparable. We couldn’t get enough of each other’s company. Our dating days were filled with joy, delight, anticipation, passion, and little conflict. But after we got married, into the newlywed years and beyond we started to grow familiar with each other… 

Read the rest on Start Marriage Right

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