This past weekend we were in Michigan for Jeremiah’s brother’s wedding.
Bubbles were the hit for this little guy.
20 months old but really a gentleman
This groomsman is a little distracted
And more bubbles
This particular morning Jeremiah and I were driving down the road on our way to get breakfast when we caught a glimpse of a church’s marquee to our right. In black letters it read: No Perfect People Allowed.
Out of all the crazy church marquee signs out there, this one was a breath of fresh air. I figured the church must have gotten the phrase from John Ortberg’s book.
Growing up in the church, there were times I felt I had to be perfect to be accepted. So much that I kept up a certain image inside the doors and another one on the outside. But I was totally missing the mark in my faith and in the gospel and here’s why:
Perfection or “good behavior” isn’t the goal of our faith. I fall short every time when it is. The goal is depending on God’s grace and love to work in our hearts and transform them. Any good works we produce are evidence of a life that has been changed by Christ. Behavior modification doesn’t mean life change has truly happened from the inside out. Anyone can look holy. And we can’t mistake this for the gospel.
These truths have lifted certain burdens like: If I could just follow that rule closer… If I could sin less in this area… if I could just appear to love that person, then.. This thinking is all about me and what I can do and not on God’s grace to ultimately change my heart and help me put sin to death.
On our drive back with a belly full of chocolate chip pancakes, I glanced at the sign again. While my good works won’t get me anywhere, I became more thankful that an absolute dependence on a perfect Savior to change my stubborn heart, always will.
Do you ever focus too much on good works instead of grace? Any church marquee signs catching your eye lately?
Curious John was into everything and we should have known. The china cups, clothes hangers, picture frames. He was into opening and closing the screen door to our friend’s house, exploring the lawn, and to top it off, he darted out into the street to follow me as I was loading stuff into the car (marital miscommunication among who was watching him). I was frantic and felt like an awful mother for that to have even happened.
I should have never expected to do anything else with the sale but to keep my eyes on him and train him on what not to touch. Jeremiah already said he would organize everything.
At the end of the day, I left the sale frustrated, exhausted, impatient, and my feet were killing me being 21 weeks pregnant. I began to think, Is this life as it is? Cause I’m going to go crazy if it is!
Lately, I’ve had a hard time adjusting to the amount of energy required of a 20 month old toddler. At times, I feel there is nothing left to give at the end of the day. I don’t know where the strength comes to cook, clean, write, love my husband well, catch up with friends, or be on mission in serving others.
Yet often the real problem is me. I don’t go to the Source of all strength.
That evening as I sat in bed and John was sound a sleep, I came to my senses again. This season of life for him is so precious and before I know it, it will be gone. He will no longer be a toddler, but a big Kindergartener. This is his stage. His season of life. And it’s my job as his mommy to treasure that.
As mother’s, God understands the exhaustion we feel. He knows the ever-changing moods and emotions. He knows the pressure put on our marriages when not only raising children, but raising them well. He understands when we just need to vent and cry and hide in the closet. He has reminded me that his strength is made perfect in our weakness (2 Cor. 12:9). His grace is always available.
I’m so thankful he understands, especially when I somehow think that no one else does. I’m thankful I can draw to Him through His word and prayer so that he can meet my spiritual, emotional and physical needs. When I’m listening and confessing my inadequacies, it’s then that I’m renewed to help meet the needs of my son. I’m more patient, loving, and understanding.
The garage sale was a good lesson for me and I know other hard days will come. But I also know that God doesn’t give us more than we can handle. Thank goodness!
Do you ever experience Mom (or Dad) exhaustion?
The more I live my life, the more I see the need for cheerleaders, and not critics.
I remember in my junior year of college, I wrote a fiction piece my Creative Writing professor loved. He read it to the class and at the end of the year, I won the Fiction Award at the end of the year ceremony for the English department. A few weeks later, I had the opportunity to submit the piece to our school’s literary magazine.
I was excited to contribute, but to my surprise, the lady in charge of submissions wrote an email back saying there was no story and no chance of it being published. She said she couldn’t believe that I submitted it. She offered zero feedback on how to make it better. Her criticism instilled a lot of fear in me, regardless if she was right.
I was confused and began to think, did my professor have his head on straight? Or am I just a loser who doesn’t know how to write?
And once in a blue moon, that lady’s words still come back to haunt me.
Then there have been people in my life who’ve done nothing but cheer me on. They’ve intentionally come along side me to speak the truth in love and encourage me to get back up. They’ve given of themselves and said: “You can do it! God has great plans for you! Keep fixing your eyes ahead…” Even if there was criticism on their part, it was constructive and done in love. It built me up. Those people are who I desire to be like. Those who have shown me by example, how to cheer someone else on.
It’s a daily choice to consider the cheerleaders in your life, and not the critics. It’s way too easy to cling to the latter. And the negative thoughts just start flying! It’s also way too easy to be the actual critic. God created us to live in community with one another where we will grow and thrive and part of that includes surrounding ourselves with people who will lift us up, whether that’s in our relationship with Christ, friendships, career, parenthood, or whatever.
Well after my submission upset, God began to give me clarity in my writing dreams. I started writing non-fiction articles and Bible studies for major publishing companies and discovered that non-fiction was where my heart beat the most. His grace allowed my writing career to really take off and today, my passion is to cheer on other people as best I can- while still battling the criticism I have in my heart at times towards others and myself.
Is it difficult for you to let go of another person’s criticism? What do you appreciate most about those who have cheered you on?
I love it when a blog post or article written by someone will stick with me all week long. These three posts have inspired and challenged me in a ton of ways.
That being said… it would be silly wrong for me not to share them with you. Enjoy!
– Women and Pride: 1 by Sarah Markley. This post got me thinking about the prideful, critical thoughts I’ve had before that I’ve never evaluated or maybe even thought to be sinful. Still chewing on this one.
– Heaven isn’t a reductionist Gospel by Ben Arment. Short, but so insightful, this post reminded me that those who have experienced real suffering, hold on to heaven… and that is enough.
– Article: 6 Ways Fathers Pursue Christ in their Fatherhood by Scott Thomas, President of Acts 29. This post inspired me to help Jeremiah on his journey of fatherhood and the dependance we must have on the gospel as we grow our family.
GIRL!!! Jeremiah told our Doctor that he will have to get a gun and go ahead and declare bankruptcy! They had a good laugh together (and I totally know what he means!). Well, baby girl Krieger will be the first granddaughter on my side of the family and I think John will love being a big brother to his little sister.
She was pretty busy as you can see in her sonogram. Her little hands were found near her face and in her mouth quite a bit. It became so real for me seeing all the movement and knowing that she’s a girl. She is already a masterpiece, fashioned by her Creator God:
For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body. All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be. – Psalm 139:13-16
Thank you for sharing in our joy!
I get so confused when I meet people who claim to follow Christ, but who never smile, go out of their way to love, or have any kind of joy. It actually really bothers me. My friend asked me the other day: “Are some Christians just like that naturally, and others are not?”
It was a great question. I think yes, it has to do with personality- some display it more clearly, but I also think there is something more to why joy might be lacking.
I’m not saying I always have a smile on my face, am a joyful person, or love people all the time (just get to know me personally and you’ll surely see my off days) but overall, I hope and pray that people see a joy radiating within me, that only Christ can give. That they see a love and joy that is contagious even in my imperfections.
If we’ve been called to love the world, can that happen apart from joy? I mean, there needs to be some kind of joy in our lives to love well, right? Otherwise, I think the danger of loving people out of duty instead of delight creeps in and that’s a bad place to be.
Are you ever bothered by “Christians” who lack genuine love and joy in their life?
I’ll have to take you back to the beginning in 2008 when my mom encouraged made a deal with Jeremiah and I that if we took Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University for 12 weeks that she and my dad would help pay for Jeremiah’s seminary education. We knew she was serious and who wouldn’t take up that kind of offer? So, we enrolled in the class at a local church with $45,000 in Debt– credit cards, student loans, 2 car payments, and more. During our first class, we found out that our debt surprisingly lined up with the average American’s debt.
Throughout each week, Dave Ramsey’s principles blew our mind. We started to see where we had been foolish and honestly hadn’t been living by God’s word in the area of finances. We started with the lowest amount of debt first and worked our way up. We cut up our credit cards (scary but it felt great!), Put $1,000 in our emergency fund as Dave says to do and starting building our savings. Most importantly, we got on a budget/spending plan. Even though we failed at it at times (and still do), we had a target to shoot for and we finally had control of our finances, rather than our finances controlling us.
We ate out less, didn’t really buy clothes, had a grocery limit, sold stuff, held garage sells, sold a car, didn’t buy unnecessary stuff and before we knew it, we were chipping away at our debt incredibly fast. We even had a baby and didn’t go into debt doing it because we saved, saved, saved!
Now two years later, we are proud to say that we are DEBT FREE!
The feeling is surreal still because for so long we weren’t truly free in that area and it impacted our marriage. But now we are and it’s our desire to encourage others out there who feel like it’s impossible. So many people encouraged us along the way and most importantly, God gave us the grace we needed to persevere and follow his plan.
While we’ve actually been debt free for about 3 months now, I can say that managing finances will always be a battle and we will never arrive, but I’m so thankful that our eyes have been opened and that above all, we are learning to better steward what we’ve been given because all that we have is a gift from God in the first place.
Thank you for sharing in our joy today!
I was recently asked by my friend Abby to be her writing mentor as she’s in the process of writing a family-focused small group curriculum for I am Second as part of her internship at Dallas Theological Seminary.
Last night, over tea at Starbucks, we had our first meeting to talk about writing. It was exciting to dream about what her curriculum could like before it’s even fleshed out on paper. But it was more exciting to dream about something that has great potential to impact a lot of people.
I left our meeting encouraged and excited for Abby’s project. And I was reminded that I am definitely a dreamer. A day doesn’t go by that I don’t dream about something that is sparked in my thoughts, something from music, a movie, conversation, God’s word, or a book. I believe God gives us dreams for a reason. I believe he plants certain desires within us and that some of those desires we will never escape because they are directly from Him.
I think it’s also natural to get frustrated when we don’t see those dreams come to fruition, but yet we still believe that some day they will happen. We believe that God wants to do something in us that is much greater than ourselves.
My prayer is that Abby’s dreams for this curriculum will be fulfilled above and beyond what she imagines.
Do you consider yourself a dreamer? Or have any specific dreams? If you go first, I’ll tell you some of mine.
On our honeymoon four and a half years ago, Jeremiah and I went on a hike via horseback throughout the lush terrain of Kauai, Hawaii. Mid way through the excursion, we planted ourselves at a waterfall to get water, rest, and eat sandwiches. After our bellies were full, we jumped into the water and swam up to the waterfall. We climbed to the rocks behind it and sat still for a few minutes, refreshed by the waterfall and refreshed in our new union.
Lately, I’ve been picturing that waterfall like God’s Grace. So constant. Abundant. Energizing. A beautiful downpour.
And I’ve never seen it quite like this before. When I could be headed down a dangerous path, God’s grace somehow sustains me. When I don’t deserve certain gifts, grace keeps me.
I think when we realize that God’s grace is always available, we stop trying to do “good” works all the time and we depend on him. We see that He’s not in heaven throwing lighting bolts down into our living room. We don’t have to earn his favor. We don’t have to live life chained to bad habits, addictions, or lies. We have his grace to draw from and to help us where we are weak.
Here are some practical ways I’ve been trying to depend on God’s grace:
To sit under the waterfall of grace, there is no place on earth like it because it changes the way you see everything and most importantly the way you view God. You can be encouraged that he won’t give up on you and will sustain you until the end.
What do you appreciate most about grace?