How we can still sing to God in our sorrows

As I stood on the other end of the line, frustration and anger burned within me. “They did what?” I asked my mom while we were away at a pastor’s conference for the purpose of being renewed and equipped in God’s word.

“Hannah and Will ran from me and hid under your Suburban and ended up getting oil all over themselves,” she said in a struggling, battle-worn tone as any mom or grandma would.

This was just one of the many incidents of disobedience she’d endured while keeping our four kids. Not only after praying it would all get better, on our way back we were delayed in coming to my mom’s aid due to a blizzard that shut down the roads and caused power outages.

I found myself crying out to God. When will it get better for her, Lord? When will my kids have a heart of submission and obedience? What do I need to do differently? I remembered Psalm 13 when David asks, How long, Oh Lord? How long?

After we ended the call, I tried my best to focus on the time we had at hand with our friends among wonderful teaching and preaching and to trust in the Lord’s provision. I recognized the spiritual warfare too. But still in the back of my mind I found myself asking:

How Long, Oh Lord?

Have you ever found yourself in a similar place as the Psalmist David? More specifically, he cries out in Psalm 13:1-3:

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

How long will you hide your face from me?

How long must I take counsel in my soul

and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

Perhaps you feel neglected and forgotten by God. Your prayers are hitting the roof, a thousand times over. You don’t see God’s face, hear his voice, or receive his words and counsel. So you feel the only thing left is to look for counsel in your own soul (and you know that never satisfies). You reside with sorrow in your heart all day long like David.

All of us go through these seasons in our soul whether through motherhood, marriage, family life, relationships, the loss of a loved one, broken friendships, and more. David understood that place, God did, and he understands our state too. There are times we need to acknowledge the state of our being and the sorrow within us- to question God and plead for answers because we are absolutely dependent on Him for our very life, breath, and hope. We’re dependent on him to lift our heads out of the muck.

Your Steadfast Love for Me

At the end of Psalm 13 in verse 5 David says, “But, I have trusted in your steadfast love;”

No matter the danger, difficulty, fear of death, and enemies surrounding him, he could place his faith and trust in God’s love for him.

And so can we. We can trust in God’s love that holds us fast. It’s not that we’re so good at holding on to him but he is holding us securely. His love is unmovable and unwavering even when we’re changing like the tides.

David continues:

“My heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

I will sing to the Lord,

because he has dealt bountifully with me.” – Psalm 13:5-6

His love alone gives us a reason to sing in our sorrows. A love that suffered, died on the cross, and rose again so that we could be set free from sin. Because he saved us and redeemed our life, we have joy. And one day, he will make all things new. Our hearts can sing because he is still good, gracious, and liberal in bestowing gifts on us each and every day.

I will Sing in my Sorrow

My kids didn’t exactly improve their behavior from the “rolling around in oil” episode and they had to face serious consequences when we got home, but I thank God for my mom’s humility, patience, grace, and sacrifice to love my children unconditionally. They asked for her forgiveness and understood how their sin was not okay and grieves God.

I thank God that my husband and I were spiritually fed and able to learn together for our ministry. There’s still pain in my heart in the longing for my children to obey immediately, but I know God hasn’t forgotten me as a mom. I know he is changing me in the sanctification process, too, and something beautiful will come out of it all.

I can still sing to Christ in the sorrows- great or small. His face will not be hidden forever and he knows me by name.

For his anger endures but a moment; in his will is life; weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning. – Psalm 30:5

Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife and mom to 4. Through personal stories and scripture, she is passionate about helping women live out their faith in real life. She is the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches.

What Inspired Me About our Visit to The Pioneer Woman’s Mercantile and Lodge in Pawhuska, Oklahoma

A few weeks ago for Spring Break, Jeremiah and I helped get my parents settled in their new home in Oklahoma. One day we took a nice detour from moving boxes and headed an hour and a half away to The Pioneer Woman’s mercantile and lodge in Pawhuska, Oklahoma. This was such a special trip for my kids because they’ve basically grown up watching The Pioneer Woman on the Food Network Channel – thanks to my mom who introduced me to Ree’s blog, recipes, books, photography, and cooking show.

When my babies were all five and under, you can imagine how evening time was- scrambling to get hungry bellies fed and managing multiple meltdowns. I often felt like pulling my hair out! While I cooked dinner, I’d often turn on The Pioneer Woman and they were instantly captivated. I loved it because not only did they enjoy learning about life on the Drummond Ranch and watching Lad and Ree’s four kids, but they learned cooking skills too! Now they’re all nine and under and have a true desire to be in the kitchen with me and it’s so helpful.

When we set foot at the Mercantile and lodge, their little hearts beat with joy. What they’d seen on TV for so many years was now a reality. Naturally, they wanted every Charlie stuffed animal, book, toy, and trinket in sight. When we arrived at the lodge, they ran and played at their heart’s content.

There were many things I loved about our visit, but perhaps most of all, I was inspired how the Drummond’s have opened up their lives, land, work, passions, talents, and more for others to enjoy and benefit from. They have given themselves away in a sense through multiple avenues. They haven’t hoarded those gifts and talents they’ve been entrusted with, but have used them to the fullest. Their hard work has paid off in so many ways.

As a wife and mom it’s made me think about what I need to “give away” in my own life. How am I using my talents and abilities to make my little world a better place for others right here? The Drummond’s- like my family- live in a small, rural community (in the middle of nowhere) yet they’re doing BIG things right where they live. Perhaps there’s something inside all of us that desires to make a big impact in our every day lives. I know I do.

So I’ll ask you too. How would your world look different if you viewed everything you’ve been entrusted with – your resources, talents, time, wealth, abilities and more to serve others? Do you believe that your ordinary life could be extraordinary? Do you believe that your greatest joys could come from releasing control and being willing to use your gifts to their fullest potential?

Chances are good, someone needs you exactly for who YOU are.

Thank you, Drummond Family for being you, and for blessing my family and so many others. I’m planning to return with my mom soon and stand in line for lunch!

{See PHOTOS below}

If you’re planning a visit to Pawhuska or hoping to, you can see their schedule for lodge tours here.

If you’re not following Ree’s blog already, you should: ThePioneerWoman.com

Dream pantry. Honey, I do need one with a ladder too.

Rebekah loves Ree!

sweet shop near the bakery

watching their creations

Hannah at the stovetop

my mom who got us all hooked!

Jeremiah had a lot of fun, too!

the land from the lodge

Walter Drummond doing what we all want to do!

Can you guess where Rebekah spent most of her time?

cheek to cheek

the kids loved this hill to the right of the lodge. They played, ran, explored, and loved on the ranch dogs.

my favorite color for cookware

the boys in the kitchen

resting in the sun

the lodge’s deck

Will couldn’t get enough lovin’

sad to say goodbye

Dear Child: Why You Can Always Depend on God’s Love

Before bedtime a few weeks ago, my 7-year-old daughter Rebekah looked me in the eyes and asked,

“Mom, but… who created God?”

Nighttime is always the perfect opportunity for theological questions and vulnerability from our kids.

“That’s a good question.” I said. “No one created Him. He has always been. He was here before everything.”

“You mean, he always existed?” her eyes grew wide.

“You got it. It’s amazing isn’t it?”

She paused for a minute.

“And, do you know how much he loves you?” I asked.

“Yeah … I think…” she looked up at the ceiling.

“He loves you so, so much- way beyond the moon,” I said.

“Can we read Princess Snowbelle now?” she flips open the first page.

I realize how “I think I know how much God loves me” is an honest answer. It’s difficult to understand. Not only is it unfathomable to think about God always being here before the foundations of the earth, but his love has too.

When I look at the canvas print on her wall showcasing the moment when she and her sister chopped their hair secretively in the kitchen one slow summer afternoon. God knew every strand cut then. He knows every lock that’s grown out. I observe her physical changes and how her face has matured since that photo. I think about how God knit and fashioned her in my womb and knew her before she was born.

Even though time is slipping away as I watch her permanent teeth grow in, her favorite sparkly leggings shrink, and her maturity developing at a rapid speed, God’s love remains steadfast and unchanging for her even in the midst of my imperfect motherly love.

There are many things I want to teach my daughter that it can be overwhelming. But perhaps I’ve made it more complicated than it should. There’s really only one thing that matters most in her life and it comes from Ephesians 3:17-19:

“… And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, 18 may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, 19 and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.”

My daughter, I want you to know this about God’s love:

“Be rooted and established in love …” (vs. 17)

May you know this love intimately from your Creator and heavenly Father. Be rooted in love, like a tree planted by streams of living water that never grows thirsty or dry but is constantly a source of life, growth, and blessing. I pray your life will be grounded on God’s overflowing love because everything you do springs forth from that.

“Grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ…” (vs. 18)

You can trust in God’s love because he proved it by sending Jesus to save you from every sin, bad word, wrong behavior, offensive action, or thought. In Christ, you have the power to grasp this love and to believe it personally. His death on the cross and resurrection proved this love and that he is indeed King forever and in fact King and rescuer of your heart.

“Know this love that surpasses knowledge…” (vs. 19)

You can depend on him to love you like no other earthly daddy, mommy, or man ever could because love is who he is. His love isn’t broken, half-hearted, or lukewarm. His love for you is perfect, complete, and a consuming fire. No person can even compare to him.

Even though human relationships will inevitably let you down and cause you pain at times, Jesus won’t. His love surpasses human knowledge or wisdom because it is from above – it’s not of this world. It goes beyond the mind and into the heart. You don’t have to be on a chase to find an earthly love to satisfy what only God can.

“That you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God …” (vs. 19)

There’s so much the world wants to pour into your heart from a young age: the desire to be beautiful, popular, accepted, noticed, followed, liked, and treasured. I pray you’ll experience the fullness of God being near to your heart. He is the source of your joy, satisfaction, and happiness. Live for him and not the short-lived approval of your peers. Grab hold of how good and wonderful He is. He will show himself to you.

Because of his deep love for you, love Jesus in return by worshipping him with every ounce of your being. You were made to glorify him and enjoy him forever.

May our daughters grasp this love and believe it their whole life. May God’s kindness draw them in as it did for us (Romans 2:4). As mothers, may we tangibly display this love in their life with God’s continual help and guidance.

Rebekah’s eyes are glazed over after reading about princess friendship in Frostovia. I close the book, say prayers, and kiss her goodnight. She peeks out her window and sees the light shining in from the moon.

“God is watching over me. Goodnight, Mommy.”

This article originally appeared on TheCourage.com

Links I Like {March 9, 2018}

Happy Friday, friends. I made it an aim this week to do more reading than simply scrolling through my newsfeeds and doing mindless activity on social media. 🙂 Here are some articles I was encouraged by that I hope you will find helpful. Feel free to add articles you enjoyed this week to this list in the comments section or on the post you clicked to get here.

Links I Like:

What God Says to Your Tears by Scott Hubbard (DesiringGod.org).

Wow, just wow. Such a beautiful article about God’s nearness to us in pain. He sees your tears. He sees you.

6 Things to Do When You Worry Too Much About What Others Think of You by Scott Kedersha (ChurchLeaders.com).

I appreciate the vulnerability in my friend Scott. Worth your read.

Porn is Not the Worst Thing on Musical.ly by Anastasia Basil

Sobering article but good to be informed regarding technology safety for our children.

Don’t be a social media crazed spouse by Arlene Pellicane (TheCourage.com)

Short and sweet article in setting up boundaries with our phones. Who doesn’t need this reminder?

What Does it Mean to be a Woman who Fears the Lord by Katie (IChooseBrave.com)

I recently discovered Katie as a fellow contributor on TheCourage.com and I love her writing style and biblical insight.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend!

– Samantha

Seven Things I Wish I’d Known Before Becoming a Mom

Motherhood. You never know the extent of what to expect until you actually become a mom for the first time and begin living out the joys and challenges. Nine years ago, I didn’t know what I was in for after I delivered my first born child on a beautiful October morning in Dallas. I’m certainly better today because of the sanctifying, dying-to-self work that’s required in mothering and nurturing my four children today.

Here are seven truths that would’ve helped me prepare for the journey:

1.) Sleep-Deprivation is the new normal. Sleep? Who needs it anyway? Because the first few years you won’t be getting it so you might as well live with it. Coffee will be your best friend even if you didn’t drink it before. Sneaking in naps when the time allows will be your saving grace. Don’t feel guilty for giving your body the rest it needs.

2.) You’ll love your child so much that it hurts. Disobedience, harsh words, tantrums, sibling fighting — oh how it can make your blood boil and provoke you to anger. It hurts when your child hurts you, others, and doesn’t obey. But loving your child wholeheartedly means risking wholeheartedly too. I promise, it’s still worth the risk to keep loving them unconditionally.

3.) Prioritizing your husband is a non-negotiable. Your kids can be thriving in the home, but if your relationship with your husband isn’t, then adjustments need to be made. Do everything you can to put your husband first and not make excuses in the midst of the chaos and demands for, “Mommy! Mom! Momma!?” Protect your marriage like it’s your newborn baby.

4.) Fingerprints on newly cleaned windows, playdough stuck in the carpet, and pee everywhere is only the beginning of the never-ending messes. We’re barely scratching the surface here, moms. Get ready for the mess because it will be daily and sometimes it will be GROSS. Every home has them, large and small. Kids will be kids. Don’t let the messes get under your skin too much even if you’re OCD.

5.) Motherhood is sacrificial, unnoticed work. Promotions? Bonuses? Affirmation and praise from your boss and co-workers? Lunch breaks? Maybe at your job, but not exactly in your role specifically as “mom.” You’ll barely get a bathroom break. Your work in the daily grind will often be disregarded and unappreciated. But your reward is in heaven and God sees. Your kids do too, even if they don’t express it. Look for the “sweet” in the sacrifices and by all means indulge in some chocolate.

6.) You need your mom friends and they need you. Isolation is an enemy because you’ll feel you’re all alone and your circumstances are different than other moms, adopting a “why me?” mindset. Authentic community with other moms brings you outside of yourself, realizing that we all face similar struggles. Let others into your reality even if it’s not exactly tidy. Reach out to friends for their help and support in this season of your life.

7.) Even in your imperfections, building a legacy and investing in the life of your child is an amazing gift. No matter how hard and taxing motherhood is on you emotionally, physically, and spiritually, and regardless of your flaws and mistakes, you are still pouring your life out for the good of your child. The seeds you’re planting will one day come to fruition: “And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up” (Galatians 6:9).

And… don’t forget to give yourself lots of grace (and good coffee!).

Blessings,

Samantha Krieger

This article originally appeared on TheCourage.com

Learn These Three Questions to Draw You and Your Spouse Together

The furniture looked like something dated from the 70’s. There was no luxury beach out our patio door or even a pool, and we were in the middle of the Garden Isle of Kauai. Instead, I stared at a green rustic cabana with an outdoor tub and shower. Not to mention there was no central air. This was not my idea of a honeymoon and I sure let my husband Jeremiah know.

Jeremiah was hurt. I was disappointed. He became angry. He worked hard to plan the perfect place. We were in a shouting match for the ages. We were terrified that in the couple days before when we stood at the altar that somehow we’d made a colossal mistake. Eventually, he reluctantly took us to a resort and charged an enormous sum to our credit card.

In that moment, we were more concerned about declaring our opinions about the other person’s failure than asking questions to know the other person’s heart. The prideful path we were starting out on as newlyweds was clearly not God’s plan.

When we reflect back on that time in our life, we laugh now. Life was so different. We were different. By God’s grace, so much has changed for the good. We’ve learned over time the power of asking questions. No matter where you are in your marriage journey, here are three questions every couple should ask that will help bring them together instead of apart:

1.) Will you forgive me?

When hungry-for-answers Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times should I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”

Jesus responds, “I tell you not seven times, but seventy-seven.”

I can imagine the look on Peter’s face. Often, we think there’s a certain number of times we can only forgive and then we’re done. Everything in our fleshly nature wants to remain in bitterness and resentment especially when a wrongful act has been committed against us: How dare he commit such an act against me?

It takes the power of Jesus and his word to help us choose forgiveness when everything in us does not want to forgive. But Jesus commands us to forgive, regardless if the feelings aren’t there. And he’s our perfect example who has forgiven us for every sin we’ve ever committed. There is life-change in the question, “Will you forgive me?” It’s the first step to healing, restoration, and being one in spirit again.

“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:31-32

2.) How can I serve you today?

When my feet hit the floor in the morning and I turn on my Keurig to insert that anticipated k-cup, I’m thinking about myself and my needs. It takes a conscious effort to look at the needs of my husband and think about how I can encourage and serve him. I can imagine how different our marriage would look if that was my attitude every day.

When we think about the life of Jesus and who he was to the people he came to save, it’s amazing that he got down on his knees, took a towel, and washed his disciples’ dirty, stinky, calloused, smelly, worn-out feet. He wasn’t thinking about his own agenda, but that of the Father’s. His mission was to serve and he lived it out faithfully.

In marriage, our mission should be to serve. That’s what truly makes you a great spouse. “How can I serve you today?” will help you see what your spouse needs just for today. The answer to that question will help you know how to practically meet that need and in turn strengthen your relationship.

“The greatest among you will be your servant.” – Matthew 23:11

3.) Where would you say we’re drifting apart?

Sometimes in our “heated conversations” I have to remember that Jeremiah and I are a team even when it feels like the roof is caving in on us. One time it literally did in our first home! We’re not against each other even though it feels like it. The truth is that we have an Enemy and our sinful natures warring against us constantly trying to tear us apart from being one flesh.

“Where would you say we’re drifting apart?” is a question worth asking. Sometimes our bank accounts, weekly schedules, and personal goals can be more inwardly focused and unknowingly exclude the other person. This question helps you pinpoint areas for growth in your relationship. And we all have them! God calls you and your spouse toward oneness and doesn’t want you to settle for less.

“So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” – Matthew 19:6

These questions aren’t easy. Not one bit. But they’re necessary. Jeremiah and I cannot go back and undo the past. We can only learn from it. We can only wonder how much frustration we would have spared our marriage had we possessed the humility to ask these questions of each other more quickly. 12 years later, we’re still learning how to ask these questions.

We did, in fact, resolve our differences after the dust settled that honeymoon day way back then. We had to do some soul searching. We eventually mustered up the strength to overcome the pride within us and ask for forgiveness. We had to take an other-person-centered attitude in order to learn to become one flesh.

Well, after only having been at the resort for two days, we were sitting at the poolside living out our honeymoon dreams. I looked at Jeremiah and asked, “Can we go back to the cabana? I kind of miss it.”

His face turned beat red.

This article originally appeared on Kirk Cameron’s TheCourage.com

Parents, why we need to be praying for our children more than ever

This week, another American flag has been lowered to half staff. Another mass school shooting has hit our land, where two students were killed and 18 injured by a 15-year-old male student with a handgun in Benton, Kentucky not far from Nashville. This tragedy comes shortly after the recent Texas and Louisiana school shootings. Our nation has experienced 13 school shootings this year. Even though the news headlines now seem quiet, the hurt and pain is still greater than ever in that small Kentucky town.

My heart sinks as a parent with two children in school and two preschool-aged children soon to make their way through elementary doors. In light of recent news, I’m reminded more than ever about the spiritual battle at hand and how desperately our children need our prayers each and every day.

Ephesians 6:12 says that, “Our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Parents, we are not fighting a battle that is merely flesh and blood, but a spiritual one. We’d be foolish to think we can fight the battles that are upon our children today with merely physical armor. These battles can only be fought spiritually through our prayers.

In prayer, we plead with Jesus to bring refreshing rains of healing and restoration to our nation again– to the hearts of families that desperately need a Savior. On our knees, we cover our children in God’s protection, love, and security. In calling on our Redeemer, we humble ourselves and turn to the One who is able to do far more than we’re capable of with our finite hands.
Parents, we have the tremendous privilege, by the shed blood of Jesus, to regularly go to the throne of grace in confidence that God will hear us when we cry out to Him. May the healing in our land that we long for first start with us. And even if our prayers are broken and our words are stuttering, make no mistake, that is still a beautiful thing.

“If my people, who are called by my name, will humble themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and I will forgive their sin and will heal their land.” (2 Chronicles 7:14)

Wake us up from our spiritual slumber, oh God. Forgive us from our apathy and transform us into praying parents who are on the battle lines, engaged in the war at hand not idle to the enemies tactics.

“Wake up, sleeper, rise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.” – Ephesians 5:14

Raise up people who will lead prayer groups inside the walls of our schools, in our churches, communities, and all over our nation. Raise up people who will mentor hurting children and who will love children living in broken homes who need to know how accepted and loved they are by our heavenly Father. Raise up teachers, administration, and students who are serious about following you. Help us to listen to you if we are to be that very leader in our community.

Dear God, raise up a generation who will not turn to guns but to the Word of God for their ultimate hope and rescue. May we as parents allow the gospel to pierce the darkness and bring its saving light. Turn our hearts to seek you first and fill our schools with joy, peace, love, kindness, and hope once again.

In your name we pray, Amen.

This article first appeared on Kirk Cameron’s, TheCourage.com

Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife and mom to 4. Through personal stories and scripture, she is passionate about helping women live out their faith in real life. She is the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches.

The one thing your morning routine desperately needs

It’s the kind of question that comes once in a while and when I’m not prepared for it, I’m convicted.

“How’s your time in the word?” one of my closest friends texted recently. She’s the kind of friend that has full permission to ask the hard questions. We’ve built that trust with one another over the last decade. I won’t be judged by giving her an honest answer.

“Not good,” I wrote. “I need to make the sacrifice and just make it happen.”

Laziness and slothfulness is sometimes my natural bent. Discipline hurts; like lifting 15 pound weights when you haven’t set foot in the gym for the last five years.

In my heart I knew I was suffering from not making my time with Jesus priority. Instead, I was filling my time with exercise, cleaning my house, Facebook news feeds, meeting with others, taking care of my family, and working on writing projects – all of which are beneficial and necessary in their own way. But opening my Bible, journal, and spending time in prayer which I know is what always feeds my spirit, was not at the top of my to-do list.

I was addicted to busyness and productivity – a common issue for many of us. It’s practically become our identity – all the more with technology today. But it was hurting my spirit, and it took a friend that cared deeply for me to tell me not what I wanted to hear, but what I needed. And knowing that she’s a woman of the word and prayer, her gentle prodding encouraged me to begin cutting out the clutter.

The next morning I decided to get up with my husband in the early hours of the morning and open my Bible with him. I downloaded a reading plan from the Bible app (Authentic Prayer by James MacDonald) and joined friends who are reading along in the app too. I dug out my journal and wrote prayer requests for family and friends.

See, we have a choice every day to fill our schedules or our souls first. We decide what takes precedence. And Satan would do anything to keep you from being in God’s word enjoying intimate fellowship and communion with the lover of your soul.

I once heard a pastor say that if we’re too busy not to pray or be in the Word, we’re simply too busy. We may need to take a hard look at our priorities and schedules to see what needs decluttering. This might mean unplugging from our devices, deciding to pull our kids out of sports so we can eat dinner around the table again, or weeding out anything making us ineffective and overwhelmed. They could be good things too, which may require a sacrifice (that could hurt!).

That morning while in God’s word, my kids came upstairs with bellies growling for breakfast. I was ready to face them and the day ahead. The quiet time fueled my faith and satisfied my hungry soul. I wasn’t so quick to act in my flesh either. I didn’t realize how much I missed being with Jesus until he opened my eyes to see my desperate need.

The depressed mood I’d been in for several days was gone and I was reminded of my purpose again. Joy had returned to my heart and my eyes shifted from being consumed with self, to serving others.

The more we feed our spirit and put Jesus first, the more we’ll desire to hear from the Lord and we won’t settle for less. Our schedules lose the power they once had over us.

So, I’ll now turn the question to you, “How’s your time in the Word?”

This article was originally published on TheCourage

Dear Children: Why Your Words Matter

Before bed time a few days ago, my nine-year-old son John told me for the first time that he wanted to go on a mission’s trip to Africa. My husband went last year with our church to a village our church body supports in Uganda. My heart filled with joy that John had a desire to venture to a world different than his own and experience the joy that both my husband and I have had visiting the beautiful continent at different times in our lives.

Then the next day, news headlines were filled with the derogatory remark about other countries which I’m sure you’re familiar with by now. This isn’t a post about our president, politics or the context of those words, but as I watched the writing on the screen, I felt a pit in my stomach.
Ouch.

I was hoping John wouldn’t see the headlines and ask questions about it. He hasn’t yet, but regardless, I want my kids to know why our words matter so much. I need the reminder too.

First, I’ll say we’re no perfect home or family. Words fly carelessly around the air at times unbridled and we have to harness them back in. As a mom of four with emotions and a strong-will, I’m reminded daily of my need for Jesus in controlling my tongue. We’re on training ground every, single day in our home. I fall short and need him desperately. I think of Psalm 141:3: Set a guard over my mouth, LORD; keep watch over the door of my lips.

Dear John, Rebekah, Hannah & Will, you must know this about your words:

The book of James dedicates time talking about the power of your tongue. Scripture says it’s a small member of your body yet boasts great things. Your tongue can even direct the course of your life like a rudder that turns a ship. Your words also have the potential to cause a forest fire of trouble by only one tiny match. Can you imagine that?

The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole body, sets the whole course of one’s life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. (James 3:6)

Words have the ability to pierce like a sword and wound unlike anything in this world. What springs forth from your lips matter because God’s word says so. Your words don’t go without consequence. If you want to live the good life, an abundant life full of blessing and peace, you must do what Scripture says and avoid evil.

If you want to see good days ahead, you must keep your tongue from evil and deceitful speech (1 Peter 3:10).

Your words mean something because they matter to God – for the sake of his name and others. They matter because when you carry and claim the name of Jesus, you represent him. Take seriously that others are made in his image and are to be valued and honored. When you fall short from doing the right thing, confess and turn away from your sin promptly.

God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created him (Gen 1:27).

Your words matter because God loves all ethnicities. God has a heart for all nations to know and love him just as he loves them. He can use your words to reach those far from him. Strife, lying, bullying, perverted speech, gossip, slander, and rage are not a part of God’s plan and won’t bring goodness and blessing in your life. Use your words to show compassion, kindness, understanding, and build up the heart of another.

Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. (Ephesians 4:29)

Your words matter because they reveal the true condition of your heart. Your heart is desperately sick without a Savior. Jesus says that it’s not what goes into someone’s mouth that defiles him, but what comes out of his mouth (Matt. 15:11). Be mindful of what’s really going on inside your heart (frustration, jealousy, anger, pride, etc.) and seek to deal with it before you speak.

Thankfully, your words also have the power of LIFE and the ability to crush lies.

Your words can build up, restore, renew, move others toward action, bring hope, heal wounds, rescue from sin, instill joy, and bring forth something that once did not exist. God formed creation into being with the very words from his mouth:

“Let there be light,” and there was light (Gen. 1:3).

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God” (John 1:1).

“Will you forgive me?” are sometimes the only words you need to ask someone. The power of these four words have restored friendships, reconciled marriages, and brought happiness and peace to the playground once again.

Use your words for healing and not towards harm. Don’t let your words be hollow either – if something needs to be said for the good of another, say it. Follow Jesus as your ultimate example. Be children who speak LIFE and live it out by God’s strength working in and through you.

I love you,

Mom

** You’re welcome to use the letter portion of this post & change the names for your own children for your personal use.

Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife and mom to 4. Through personal stories and scripture, she is passionate about helping women live out their faith in real life. She is a regular contributor for Kirk Cameron’s site TheCourage and For the Family. She is also the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches.

You can give him everything, but you must give your husband this:

A few days ago, my husband and I were going crazy indoors with our kids from the bitter cold temperatures in Colorado. We packed them all in our suburban and headed to a rec center to swim. As soon as their little feet hit the concrete, they were beaming with joy. Splashing, playing pool volleyball, laughing, talking and enjoying themselves instead of fighting was a relief for us.

My husband swam side by side with my four-year-old and shot hoops with my nine-year-old. At one point, I took a rest on the side and just observed my surroundings. Several dads enjoying the pool with their kids. One child in an over-sized red life jacket was throwing a tantrum because his dad was trying to get him comfortable in the water but he was scared. One wife pointed her phone from the bleachers to shoot pictures of her husband and three kids wading in the shallow end.

It got me thinking just how critical dads are in the lives of their children and how I need to do a better job affirming my man as a father. It is too easy to criticize their weaknesses or overlook the daily blessings dads bring to the family. As wives, we also share with our husbands our hearts, our beds and bathrooms. During birthdays and holidays we work creatively to plan their perfect gift. We can share many things and we can give them everything. But our husbands need to know:

1.) They are valued and appreciated in the home.

One of the greatest gifts we can give our husbands is to affirm them in their role– regularly voicing our appreciation for all they do. Often, this affirmation can disappear in the chaos of life or the backdrop of mundane life. Constant criticism, demeaning, and comparing him to others is like deadly poison to a family. Respect, love, patience, encouragement, and kindness builds them up and results in a thriving home. Appreciation for our husbands is one of their greatest needs.

2.) Their role as protector and provider is crucial.

Husbands and wives are equal in value, but distinct in roles and responsibilities. The burdens that our husbands carry daily (or hourly!) such as financial stability, our family’s safety, feeling valued in their jobs, and more is much different than what we may carry as wives. Leading the family is a huge responsibility that requires us coming alongside them as a teammate, cheering them on in the difficult realities of life. Their role is an important one that should be praised.

3.) Their presence with their children is life-changing.

My husband doesn’t sit around and think about how awesome he is when he teaches our son how to mow the lawn, hammer a nail, or shoot a BB gun. He just does it because that’s what dads do. But as a wife and mom, I know how huge this is relationally. He is investing in their little life, teaching them new skills, and prioritizing father/son bonding time. All these deposits make our sons who they are becoming and how they will be as responsible adults. As women, we can come alongside our husbands and remind them of how they are changing lives.

4.) There’s no one else that can fill the father role like they can.

One of the greatest lies I believe men face is that they aren’t good enough or have what it takes. These thoughts may be deeply ingrained by the way they were raised, a broken relationship with their own parents, or insecurities from physical or emotional loss (eg. pains that might come from previous physical or emotional abuses, accidents or losses in life). As wives, we can remind them of truth instead:

they do have what it takes
they’ve been given the gift of leading the family
they are wanted and needed
and we support them 100%.

No husband, wife, marriage, or family is perfect. We all fall short, but with God’s help and strength working through us, we can remind our husbands through our words and actions just how much they mean to us. As the father of our children, their work and efforts are worthy. They shouldn’t go unnoticed. What are some creative ways you can let your husband know?

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