Why I Choose to Connect with You, and Not Compete

One day in the midst of the craziness of getting my coffee made, I scrolled through Facebook for a mommy break. In the newsfeed, my friend Katie had shared a photo of her pristine, cute, crafty living room that looked like a Pinterest explosion. My eyes were glued to the design in her home and the eye candy on her walls!

She’s so much more gifted than I am. How does she do it? My home isn’t as beautiful as hers. Sadly, I dwelt on these thoughts and they put me in a bad mood. I was holding up the measuring stick to a dear, trusted friend of mine. I was competing and comparing and it had the best of me.

A few months later, I didn’t heat up another coffee cup in the microwave but instead got one at Starbucks with Katie. We talked about our struggles and I shared how I compared myself to her and all her gifts. She revealed how she’d done the same with other mom friends who were always going on outings with their kids.

“I can barely get out of the house each day,” she mentioned. “I feel like I’m not doing enough with my kids.”

I felt similar feelings. We laughed and talked about how you rarely see the whole picture of a friend’s life in your highlight reels. You see the joys and milestones, rarely the fighting with your husband, no make-up, unshaved legs, disaster-of-a-house kind of days, the dark reality of depression, defiant children, a broken marriage, tears on your pillow at night, or the pain of how life can be so stinkin’ hard (literally).

It’s much easier to be preoccupied with another friend’s perfect life, instead of choosing to have a heart full of gratitude for own own.

There is a way to celebrate those gifts and talents we see in our friends: the friend who can creatively homeschool all five of her kids and still remain sane. The friend who lives, eats, and breathes essential oils when you have no idea how to use them. The friend who eats squeaky clean and has chiseled shoulders from Beachboy workouts when you’re eating your kids’ processed mac and cheese. The friend who managed to fit into her pre-pregnancy jeans within two weeks after giving birth.

The friend who can sell Plexus, LuLaRoe, Norwex, and Rodan + Fields like nobody’s business. The friend whose husband can build anything from a scrap of wood. The friend who is traveling the world, while you’re wiping nasty noses and changing dirty diapers. The friend who seems to juggle ten different responsibilities when you can barely muster up one simple task. And more…

Comparisons sneak up in all kinds of ways and they indeed steal joy, but we can choose to be devoted to love and honor one another above ourselves (Romans 12:10). We can choose to praise each other for the gifts God has given us.

It takes time, humility, understanding, love, and patience to connect, instead of compete with one another in our hearts. It requires pulling up a chair at the table and listening. It also means calling competition and comparison what it is: Sin.

Envy, jealousy, and covetousness is not the way God desires for us to live. There is a better way. A more freeing, satisfying, and joyful way. There’s so much gratification, fulfillment, and sweet friendship when we connect with our friends to learn the full story of who they are and their unique challenges, not just making judgments from the mere snapshots on the screen. Because the Lord knows, we’ve all got mountains to climb!

When we reach out, it gives us a better appreciation for one another and helps us see that we’re simply not alone. Most of all, we discover the blessing of a friend knowing who we really are and loving us still– and vice versa– which is perhaps what our hearts have been longing for in the first place.

In my sinful nature, I still struggle at times with competing, but I’m determined to confess it to God, do my best to catch myself when I do, and instead ask a friend out for coffee.

If you’ve read Quiet Time, this story is what I’m referring to on Page 5. If you haven’t read a copy yet, you can do so here.

Samantha Krieger is a wife, mother, and writer in rural Colorado. She is the author of the new devotional for moms: Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches.

{Photos} Quiet Time Devotional Book Signing at Inklings & More Bookstore – Holyoke, CO

Last weekend, I had a wonderful time signing my new devotional book at our local bookstore Inklings and More in Holyoke (which is adorable by the way, for you out-of-towners. It even has a coffee shop/bakery attached to it… and a craft store… and an antique store.. and more!).

Several months ago, they not only asked to carry my book but offered to let me have a book signing. I jumped at the opportunity! Upon arriving, sneaky and thoughtful Bev from our church surprised me with teal carnations, a cute coffee mug, and lollipops to decorate the table.

Joylyn at the bookstore was a huge help in making sure the table was set up and there wasn’t too much sun coming in the window. She took care of a lot of the details. My friend Leslie snapped these photos and I’m so thankful she did because I probably would have forgotten. My friend Jean helped me manage the table and provided the humor (as always).

My moms Bible study surprised me at the very beginning and it was so much fun seeing them. I really enjoyed interacting with visitors and friends. Many who came by bought multiple copies for their friends and family. My husband is not in these photos as he was taking care of our kids, but he was a huge part of this project from start to finish, and continues to be. He snapped a photo and put it on social media and it was fun to see friends and family from a distance getting excited about the book and sharing it from Amazon.com.

Many thanks to owners Lucas and Jennifer Hayes, and Susan Hinck for allowing me to be here and share about Quiet Time! You do such a great job with Inklings and More. Our community is thankful for you. Thank you to my readers, friends, and family for your continued support in launching Quiet Time!

Samantha Krieger is a wife, mother, and writer in rural Colorado. She is the author of the new devotional for moms: Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches.

3 Ways to Waste Your Time Wisely in 2017

My friend and neighbor Jill invited me over for coffee a few days ago and we got on the topic of time and how it goes by so quickly.

“How is it already 2017?” she asked. “You’ve been here two years in June.”

She’s always good at remembering dates. I nodded my head and agreed that our years spent in our new town have flown by so fast. I shared how the year I graduated high school (2000), everyone was talking about 2020 and the end of the world. We aren’t too far from that now!

It seems like as soon as Christmas arrives, stores are stocking their shelves with Valentine goodies before we even have time to take down our lights and trees. The older I get, the more I realize just how fragile time is. There is only so much time in the day and scripture tells us that our days are numbered. We don’t get to choose when God calls us home and we breathe our final breaths on this earth. One thing that is certainly sobering is that time moves on whether we like it or not.

So, how can we begin 2017 by making the most of our delicate days?

1.) Waste your time wisely by being a “Hands Free Mama.”

Currently, there’s no greater time waster for me than my phone. Ugh. I love it and I hate it. Being a creative communicator, I love connecting with friends and sharing words on social media. I love knowing what others are doing and I love photography so I could spend all day on Instagram. But it’s also something I get easily addicted to. I’m cracking down on the minutes I spend on my phone doing those things so that I can say “yes” to better things (like writing an article or blog post or… maybe even cleaning my bathroom!).

The truth is that it’s up to us what we choose to do with our time. There are always areas that we can better fill with our time. How can you be more productive online and offline? What ways can you practice moderation or even cutting something completely off that’s hindering you from moving forward?

So, then, be careful how you live. Do not be unwise but wise, making the best use of your time because the times are evil. Therefore, do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. – Ephesians 5:15-17

2.) Waste your time wisely by getting in the Word.

Give God your whole year by getting to know him daily in his word. If you’re struggling with anxiety, depression, control, people pleasing, and more, the solution is Jesus. Let him calm your soul. Let him guide you through his word that sharpens, convicts, comforts, and encourages you right where you are in life.

When you’re tempted to go to Facebook first thing in the morning, open up the Bible app, First 5, your Bible or devotional. There are so many resources and apps out there to encourage you. Start your morning with Jesus and entrust your day to him. 9 times of out 10, you’ll enter your day with more peace and trust that he’s got it taken care of. Your ability to walk in the spirit, instead of the flesh becomes much easier.

How does God’s word encourage you where you’re at in life right now? What ways do you best connect with God?

Now listen, you who say, Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a town, stay there a year, conduct business, and make money. You do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. – James 4:13-14

3.) Waste your time wisely by serving others.

I love what prince of preachers Charles Spurgeon once said, “Serve God by doing common actions in a heavenly spirit, and then, if your daily calling only leaves you cracks and crevices of time, fill them up with holy service.”

If I spend too much time on myself, I get depressed, inwardly focused, and I isolate. When I go beyond my four corners to reach out to someone, I’m refueled and reminded that life is not all about me. God teaches me new things.

I recently made a visit to one of the elderly widows in our church and we had the best time talking together about her memories of the past. When I looked at the clock, it had already been an hour. It felt like 10 minutes. It was a true joy.

When you use your time for the good of other people, it brings glory to God and gives hope to those in need. Ironically, you find your purpose and calling in it, too.

In what ways can you serve others around you? Do you know of one person who needs a word of encouragement or helping hand?

Behave wisely toward outsiders, making the best use of your time.

– Colossians 4:5

Wasting our time wisely requires a daily effort, just like choosing to lift those weights or press play on that workout video when you don’t feel like it. But in the end, there’s reward from the work and fruit is produced as you grow stronger and more disciplined. God is honored as you seek to truly treasure the time he has given you.

Blessings,

Samantha

Samantha Krieger is a wife, mother, and writer in rural Colorado. She is the author of the new devotional for moms: Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches.

The Courage to be You, Bravely, in 2017

It’s funny how sayings stick in your head. “Be You, Bravely” was the theme for my Mother’s of Preschooler’s group (MOPS) in Dallas a few years ago and I have reflected on it a lot the last several months.

Whether it comes through scrolling down the highlight reels of friends on Facebook and Instagram or comparing myself to what another person has in her life, God is teaching me to be me. And me alone.

The temptation is to believe that other friends have it better, are more gifted, and suitable for their work. But the truth is that we all have challenges in our lives – some obvious, some unseen. We’re all gifted uniquely for God’s purposes – fashioned according to His will.

Purpose in Publishing

Recently, I was given an exciting opportunity from a Christian publishing company to be one of three writers to submit writing for an upcoming project they are working on with a respected author. They seemed very interested in my sample writing and was hoping I would move forward in letting the author see my samples. The problem was that I thought it was going to be a co-write and soon learned that it was a ghost-write. My heart immediately became unsettled.

If you aren’t familiar with ghostwriting, you are hired by a publisher to write the story/content that is officially credited to another person – in this case it was someone quite famous in the Christian world. In ghostwriting, you take on their voice but you receive no credit on the cover and you cannot reveal it in your portfolio. You’re usually given a good sum of money in ghostwriting, too. There are pros and cons to it.

I know writers that ghostwrite and I don’t judge them. But in my heart, I didn’t feel it was right for me. It also wasn’t in line with my personal goals in my writing career. It was hard to let the publisher know I wasn’t interested in moving forward, but I felt peace.

God had purpose in that experience as it led me to write my own book and collaborate with like-minded friends and it has been one of the greatest blessings of my life, especially hearing from readers and friends who have found hope and encouragement through it.

Boasting in Our Weaknesses

I believe that staying true to who we are takes a lot of courage, indeed. Not only staying true to our calling in Christ and who he has created us to be, but also not hiding who we are in our brokenness and weaknesses.

I love what the Apostle Paul says,

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me. – 2 Cor. 12:9

Paul gladly boasted in his weaknesses. He didn’t exactly have a stellar resume before Christ met him on the road to Damascus. He didn’t pride himself in who he was, because he knew what he was before Christ, and it wasn’t pretty. Being true to who we are requires that we take a good look inside our hearts and our own shortcomings. We are not self-sufficient, but Christ-sufficient.

When we acknowledge and admit we are powerless over our struggles and sin, we give God room to work. We allow him to search who we really are. I know when I allow him to do that, I find that I am utterly dependent on him for any good thing. I rarely can do good apart from him. Even on my best day, I still fall short.

A Great Opportunity

It takes courage to be You. And no one else. It’s much easier to be busy about what others are doing, instead of taking a good hard look inside your own heart and seeing what God is doing in you. Who has he made you to be? What dreams has he given you? What scars and brokenness do you have that can be shared for the benefit of another friend?

In a culture where social media offers “all the feels” as Jen Wilkin recently wrote in her article Beware the Instagram Bible in 2017, “It [the Instagram gospel] preaches good news in part, but we need the whole. It may move us in the moment, but it cannot sustain us through the storm.”

As women who follow Jesus, we have a great opportunity in 2017 to shine the light into who we truly are. We have a great opportunity to get to know our friends in real time, beyond the mere scrolling of our thumb on a phone screen. We have an opportunity, like never before, to come out of hiding and show others how great our God is.

Samantha Krieger is a wife, mother, and writer in rural Colorado. She is the author of the new devotional for moms: Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches.

{BOOK GIVEAWAY} Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches

I’m so excited to announce that my new devotional book for moms, Quiet Time, has officially released! I’ve been so grateful for the finished product and that it is reaching moms with hope and encouragement. It is now available to order on Amazon – paperback and Kindle versions. I’m also giving away two copies along with some Windrift Hill cucumber melon soap.

** To enter the giveaway:

1.) Leave a Comment on how you get quiet time for your self and soul.

2.) Share this post via social media and tag one friend you’re thankful for.

That’s it!

Giveaway Ends NEXT TUESDAY, December 20. Winners will be notified.

BABY BODY {an excerpt from the Quiet Time Devotional Book for Moms}

“I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God,

to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God,

which is your spiritual worship.”

Romans 12:1

“Sometimes when I look in the mirror or see photos of my post-baby body times four, I cringe a little. I knew my body had changed dramatically through each unique pregnancy, but the full impact hits me when I see the proof. A squishy belly that my kids love to blow their sticky lips on, a larger pant size, purplish-blue varicose veins, stretch marks, and other unpleasant sights have surfaced that didn’t exist before. I’m often amazed that my husband still finds me attractive after all my body has gone through.

I’ve often thought about what God would want us to know about our bodies. After all, he knows we’ve birthed a live human being into this world—many of us multiple human beings. We’ve fed our babies, clothed them, and watched over their very livelihood. We’ve sacrificed nearly 24 hours a day for them. Is the physical sacrifice we have made and are making worth it?

The new marks we wear are battle wounds that signify something so much greater than the eye can see. Of course there’s nothing wrong with watching carefully what we eat, exercising, and eventually burning off the weight, but honoring God in that process is most important. We could be consumed with our health where it’s an idol, or we might not be concerned at all, which isn’t good either.

The truth is that our baby bodies, no matter what shape and size, are pleasing to the Lord. They reveal the physical, emotional, and spiritual sacrifices we make for our children every day. They signify the new life we’ve prepared for, prayed over, and laboriously delivered into this world. They remind us of the reward we have in raising our children and offering them to the Lord each day.

We’re called to offer our bodies as living sacrifices unto the Lord, holy and acceptable. This is our act of worship to him. Worship to him isn’t reserved just for Sunday mornings but is a lifestyle throughout the week. The physical sacrifices of putting our children’s needs before our own, nursing our baby around the clock, easing the pain of a sick one, changing multiple diapers, losing sleep, cleaning up messes, managing meltdowns, watching over their safety, and more are all sweet sacrifices God sees and delights in.

Giving up the right to yourself in order to invest selflessly into the life of your precious child is a beautiful thing. Giving your body wholly to God and honoring him as you raise your children is an act of love and service to him that should never be devalued and diminished. God sees your effort and delights in it.”

PRAYER: God, my body is yours to do with as you please. Help me to honor you today and remember the great sacrifice I’m making as I invest in the lives of my children. I give myself wholly to you to do as you will in my life. In Jesus’ name, amen.

** This excerpt is from my new devotional book Quiet Time.

** The QUIET TIME E-BOOK is now available for pre-order in the Kindle store on Amazon. <—- click here to download

** The paperback version will release at the end of the month!

Open Door – {an excerpt from the Quiet Time Devotional book for Moms}

OPEN DOOR

“Show hospitality to one another without grumbling.”

1 Peter 4:9

A fresh-from-scratch poppy seed Bundt cake for our neighbors, a trusted place to drop off your kids for a few hours, a glass of sweet tea to cool you off, or just a place to sit and talk, that was the atmosphere my mom created in my home growing up in the Carolinas. One of the greatest gifts my mom gave my dad, sister, and me growing up and continues to radiate in is hospitality.

My high school friend Jen would often say, “Every time I come in your kitchen, I want to e-e-a-a-t!” The aroma smelled like an apple pie endlessly baking in the oven. Every Thanksgiving and Christmas, our table was set like the front cover of a Williams-Sonoma cookbook. Every glass cup, plate, and piece of silverware in its perfect place, gracefully decorated. Best of all, my mom made people feel accepted, special, and important—even the plumber. To this day, I love reminiscing about the environment she created for us.

Her youngest daughter, on the other hand (that would be me), has burnt broccoli and other dishes multiple times. I’ve misread ingredients. I once made a chocolate cake that made my friend Mallory nearly choke to death due to baking soda overload. I’ve dished out the weirdest concoctions on the dinner table. I’m not always the neatest in my home. I’m clean, but a bit cluttery. I blame it on being creative. Showing hospitality makes me shake in my boots, gives me anxiety, and causes my control-freak tendencies to protrude.

So when I read verses like 1 Peter 4:9, I’m both challenged and convicted. Scripture clearly teaches that as Christ-followers we’re to practice being hospitable to one another. Key word: Practice. Yeah right, you may be thinking. My house is a disaster, macaroni is glued to my floor, I haven’t vacuumed in months, and don’t you dare step a foot in my filthy bathroom! I’m right there with you.

The clincher, though, is that we’re taught to do this “without grumbling”… Murmuring is the expression of secret and sullen discontent. In other words, it is a form of covetousness—having desire for something God has not given you. Not trusting God for what he has given you. Hospitality isn’t drudgery but is a gift from God, and we have incredible opportunities to change the world through this gift in a way that nobody else can. In this way, hospitality can be freely offered with joy and without complaining.

When our doors are open, others can sense a belonging and a welcoming that is difficult to find in this cold, dark, and lonely world. When our home is accessible to outsiders, whether that includes our mom friends, their children, our kids’ friends, neighbors, or strangers, it communicates, “I welcome you. I love and accept you. I invite you in.” This is the gospel lived out in one of the most practical, tangible ways.

An open door also invites others into the craziness of our own life. It doesn’t always have to be complicated either. If dinner is too overwhelming, sharing a cup of tea or coffee will do. If the house is a mess, inviting them to sit next to the overflowing pile of laundry can suffice. I’ve done that many times. People will see you for what your home life is really like and recognize you’re pretty normal after all.

I’m convinced that if we waited until our home was pristine and picked up, we’d never welcome anyone inside. Practicing hospitality is a gift to others and an opportunity for others to know the real you. Who’s God calling you to invite in to the four corners of your beautiful mess? Chances are good that in turn, you’ll be invited into their mess too.

PRAYER: Jesus, my natural bent is toward selfishness. I’d rather isolate myself than invite others in to see my reality. Give me the desire to reach out and be a welcome mat for others so they’ll see your love and goodness. Amen.

This excerpt was taken from my new devotional book Quiet Time that releases at the end of the month. If you would like to be on the Launch Team, there is still time. Please fill out your email in the form below and you’ll be sent an Advanced Electronic Copy to review and details on how you can help spread the word. Thank you!

Exciting Writing News (& How You Can Help!)

final stages of tweaks {New Leaf Creative Studio}

Even when we give up on our dreams, God doesn’t. Even when we doubt him, he is still faithful. Our desires may be fulfilled differently than we think, but that doesn’t mean God has forgotten them. He knows best and his timing is perfect.

When Jeremiah and I returned from our 10-year anniversary trip this past summer, I received an email from a big-name publisher about my interest in writing a devotional book with an author many of us know in the Christian community. I was beaming with excitement – heartbeat racing and all! I was one of 3 writers to submit samples but as I got further into the process, I learned that it was going to be a ghostwrite and not a cowrite to my dismay.

After seeking counsel and being still for a while, I respectfully declined as ghostwriting wasn’t in line with my personal writing goals or something I felt comfortable with. Through that experience however, I learned so much. Feeling somewhat stuck and discouraged, I began answering my own question, What if I write my own devotional book? I’ve always had a burning message in my heart to communicate to moms who are struggling. Jeremiah really encouraged me to do what I felt most excited about right now. That was June. This is October. And here we are…

I’m thrilled to let you know that I’ll be releasing my first book (Kindle & paperback versions) called Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches. I will be talking about it more this month, but I wanted to begin sharing now.

Quiet Time is all about encouraging and strengthening moms in the trenches of motherhood who are daily battling tantrums, sibling fights, defiance, emotional ups and downs, sleepless nights, depression, and more. This devotional book helps address the worthiness of the calling in the midst of the sacrifice. On each page, moms will find their calm in Christ and be reassured that they’re not alone, God is with them, and their work is worthy.

Right now, I’m building a Street Team of readers and friends who will come alongside me to share the book with others. I truly believe in the power of community and that this project is a team effort. I would love for you to consider joining me.

As a part of the Street Team, you will be helping me get the word out about the book and also being a huge part of encouraging young moms.

What is required to be on the Street Team?

1.) Read a PDF copy of the book. You will receive a free PDF copy of the book before it goes on sale. (a month before it releases)

2.) Write a positive Amazon Review. Once you’ve read the book and if you like it, I would love for you to share a positive Amazon review during the launch.

3.) Share on social media. Provide a link on your social media accounts where friends/family can learn more about the book.

And I have a few other goodies up my sleeve as well. If you’re not a mom, I still welcome you to read it and share it. If you can’t commit to being on my street team, I value your prayers as we near the end of the process and launch the book.

If you would like to join me on the Street Team, please fill out your information on the form below and I will be in touch with you. Thank you so much!

Samantha

We All Have to Grow Up

photo: Katie Bowman, 2012

Rebekah has looked up to her big brother John since the day she was born. In fact, he is the one who named her “Bekah” after he couldn’t say her full name Rebekah. John was her first friend, her first fight, and her first fun! She has never known life apart from him and oh does she love him and look up to him fiercely.

It’s hard to believe that on Thursday, John will show her the ropes in his school. It will now be her school – they will go together. Actually, when Bekah was in her three’s and four’s (the hardest years ever for me), I often wished for her to be a little older so I could manage the meltdowns better. I struggled so much and I had no idea how fast it would go by and that it was only a season, soon to change. When I saw our recent church photo, I realized just how much our family is growing up. Kindergarten has come and it came so fast.

In the same way that we don’t keep returning to preschool year after year, relearning the basics over and over again, we’re also called to grow up in our faith.

Do you ever feel that resistance not to want to change? I would rather stay in Neverland. I have been reminded of this a lot lately as I see my struggles, hurts, and habits for what they truly are in the bright light – kind of ugly – an insecurity, unforgiveness, or slothfulness in different areas. When I see sinfulness inside me, I’m reminded that I have a lot of maturing to do.

1 Corinthians 13: 11-12 says,

When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I have been fully known.

Just as a child only has a limited frame of reference and understanding, spiritually we are the same. We can only see life from a limited point of view here on earth. Like my own children, my understanding is imperfect and I have much to learn about God. It’s like trying to see through a mirror that is smudged, cloudy, scratched, dirty, and even broken. My perspective isn’t what it should be.

But soon, we won’t see through a jacked up mirror. We will see face to face the glory and majesty of God and we will eventually know what we don’t yet know right now. Not partially, but fully.

I’m thankful that while I have so much growing up to do, one day, I will see things as God sees them in its fullest. I will see his people the way he sees them. I will see his plan how he sees it. In heaven, the things we valued and were obsessed about here on earth will be a shadow compared to the beauty and light of Jesus, who is the only one who satisfies our souls.

Growing up and maturing is never easy. I might cry on Thursday or I might be happy and thankful for the break – probably both. But moving ahead is a necessity. When we move past the basics spiritually, we are changed. And it is then that we do begin seeing a little more how heaven sees and we are fine leaving Neverland in order to grow deeper and stronger in our faith.

When God Interrupts Your Plans

Photo: Lisa Francis

Three years ago today, our William Daniel was born on a beautiful Monday morning in Dallas. If you’ve followed this blog for a period of time, you may remember my announcement of being pregnant with Will. I was on birth control and exclusively breastfeeding. I found out when my third child, Hannah, was only four months old.

And I cried, oh did I cry. I questioned. I even threw my pregnancy test. How in the world could I be ready for a 4th child – right after just having Hannah? I barely had time to recover from her birth. I was numb and in disbelief, more so thinking about how I would be able to carry the load I already couldn’t bare. Jeremiah and I desired to have four children, but had wanted to wait a few years.

Would I take God at his word? Would I trust him for the strength I needed to survive life with four young children, 5 and under? Ultimately, would I accept this surprise gift as God’s sovereign will for my family and me? It was only a matter of days when God clearly showed me to be still and to surrender control. I accepted this precious gift from God’s hands and kept giving the baby inside me to God. It was a great testing of my faith.

When God interrupts our plans, it is uncomfortable and many times fear and worry consumes our hearts: an unplanned pregnancy, a job change, an unexpected illness, a detour in daily plans, a career change, or perhaps a waiting period that is just too long. But it is often in these diversions, we remember that we are not in control. We cannot be dependent on our circumstances, on people, or even ourselves. We cannot manipulate God’s will and it is then that we have to make a choice:

Surrender or become bitter.

We can murmur, complain, get angry, throw things, and stew on the disappointment. We can shake our fists at God. Or, we can trust that even though we don’t understand what we’ve been given, God is working for our good and loves us. As our heavenly father, he knows what is best for us and yes, even what we can handle. We can surrender control over to him and sometimes that might look like a constant giving over, at every new sunrise because it isn’t always a one time thing.

I think the greatest thing I’ve learned when plans don’t go my way is that of humility. Pride says, “I’ve got this figured out. I’m in control. I’m pretty good at knowing the way. I am the master of my destiny.” Humility says, “I don’t have life figured out. I need a Savior whom I can depend on. I need his guidance and direction every moment of my life. I need Jesus in all of life’s circumstances.”

Well, the last three years with Will have been an absolute joy. He completes our family and is our baby. He is full of life, energy, intelligence, silliness, and a deep love for his siblings. God knew what he was doing even though I didn’t see it on the results of my pregnancy test. He did know what I was capable of handling even on the days I have pulled my hair out!

And just like that, Will is three. We put away our last crib a few months ago, which felt surreal. He’s now in a big boy bed, partially potting training, saying all kinds of words, and goes to morning preschool in the fall. I love watching him grow and being his Mommy. I know that the days are long, but the years are short and it goes way too fast to even realize it.

I still have plenty of days where family life feels like it is spinning out of control with four kids, but I’m always reminded that not being in control is a pretty good place to be.

Happy Birthday, Will Will. You are loved so, so much!

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