I remember picking up the phone and calling my mom to share a struggle I had. I was in seminary and had just started dating my husband Jeremiah. I had a strong attraction to him spiritually, emotionally, and physically and I felt like temptations to compromise my purity were all around me.
I shared with my mom how I couldn’t wait to get married so those struggles would disappear. She paused for a minute and shared a very important truth:
“Samantha, even when you’re married, you’ll have to work hard at your purity….
Every seat in the chapel was filled. The doors on each side stayed open for Michigan’s August breeze to make its way in. I looked for a place to sit and found a spot on the end of a pew. As I sat down, I felt relieved that my husband was keeping the kids so I could have some time to sit and be still. Besides, this was my vacation.
God, I want to hear you tonight, I prayed. It’s so hard to hear you when the daily grind can get so noisy.
Sara Groves started playing the piano and singing:
I can’t remember a trial or a pain He did not recycle to bring me gain
I can’t remember one single regret In serving God only, and trusting His hand
All I have need of, His hand will provide
He’s always been faithful to me
I tried to recollect a time when God was unfaithful to me and I simply could not. Even at a point in my life when I chose the temporal pleasures of sin over following Him, He remained faithful- patiently pursuing me and calling me to his side.
And all the needs I have ever had, great or small, he has provided regardless of my worry and doubt.
I thought about the concerns and fears I have with the future and I was comforted that God those too, but my uncertainties don’t change the fact of Who He Is. And if I had to follow Him all over again, in the joys and the hardships, I would still surrender my life to Him.
Sara played on and transitioned into the old hymn:
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Great is Thy Faithfulness
Morning by morning new mercies I see
All I have needed thy hand hath provided
Great is thy faithfulness, Lord unto me
A man in his 60s stood up as she sang. I imagined his life and the possible trials he has probably faced. I thought about how he’s further along in the journey than I. Then another person in the distance stood and then another. I got goosebumps. Before I knew it, handfuls of people were standing.
Knots grew tight in my throat. God had been so faithful to me and rarely did I thank Him and stand upon that. I felt such conviction. My pride tried to keep me planted in that hard wooden pew, but I rose to my feet anyway. Tears filled my eyes and I confessed to God where I had fallen short.
God, forgive me for not regularly expressing gratitude to you for all you have done. Change me.
I observed all that was happening around me and soon enough, everyone was standing. Some lifted their hands in humbleness. God’s presence filled the air and it was heavenly and so sweet. It didn’t matter what journey any of us had traveled, this was our anthem together.
An anthem of His faithfulness.
“I want to go up there!” my son John shouted pointing to the white monkey bars off in the distance. They were really high and obviously not suited for his age, but we wanted to let him try. Besides, great determination was in his eyes.
We ran over to the monkey bars and my husband lifted him up. His little fingers latched on to the first bar and he made it to the next. He tried to hold on, but he lost his grip.
“All done!” he cried.
Daddy pulled him down and after a few minutes, even though it was a little scary, you could tell he was satisfied with the attempt.
John’s zeal to go just a little further taught me a lot about my own faith. Often, I’m content and comfortable to stay “elementary” in my faith instead of maturing and growing up towards godliness.
Pursuing more in my faith requires discipline and discipline is hard work. I think that’s why I’m quick to remain put and not take risks that seem difficult or even impossible by human standards.
But God has called me to something so much greater. He calls me to step out of comfort and into living on mission for Him, meaning that I must give MORE.
- Giving more in the way I serve others for no other reason but love.
- Giving more in the way I raise my children and love and respect my husband.
- Giving more in the way I use my gifts and abilities so that others will be edified and equipped.
- Giving more in the way I share the resources and money God has entrusted to me.
- Giving more in the way I proclaim the gospel to whoever God puts on my path.
Failure, disappointment, and conflict are all risks that come with this kind of giving and it is radical. But the joy and fullness and blessing of knowing God through giving more away is irreplaceable—bringing me just a little bit closer to complete maturity and Christ-likeness.
John was craving more when he saw those big kid monkey bars. While he was innocent of the dangers, he trusted in his daddy to help him reach each challenge.
So it is with God.
What areas in your life do you need to give more? What are you risking?
A few nights ago, my husband and I got into a big argument. We had just gotten home from a long day of flying. We were over-tired and not thinking straight. Words flew carelessly in the air and we threw verbal punches at each other, back and forth.
It was one of those moments where you would be ashamed if anyone took a peep through your door.
While we were on vacation, award-winning Christian song-writer Sara Groves was in concert where we were staying and before one of her songs, she told us she wasn’t going to be ashamed to expose any “dirty laundry” and that she wanted to be transparent with us. She talked about the fights her and her husband have had before.
I resonated with her words and appreciated her brutal honesty. I had thought: Wow, she struggles too? Sara talked a little more and began playing the keys. Here’s what she sang:
We just had a World War III here in our kitchen – We both thought the meanest things
And then we both said them – We shot at each other till we lost amunition
This is how I know our love – This is when I feel it’s power
Here in the absence of it – This is my darkest hour
When both of us are hunkered down – And waiting for the truce
All the complicated wars – They end pretty simple
Here when the lights go down – We roll to the middle
No matter how my pride resists – No matter how this wall feels true
No matter how I can’t be sure – That you’re gonna roll in too
No matter what, no matter what – I’m going to reach for you
(song: “Roll to the Middle”)
I was reminded of our arguments in the past, and how there were sure to be more in the future but how I’ve experienced that our love is always stronger. After Jeremiah and I were finished taking jabs, we came to our senses. We agreed to go to bed and talk in the morning and that we were way overtired.
That morning, I confessed my pride and how I wasn’t even making sense. Jeremiah confessed where he was wrong and we forgave each other. I was reminded of Sara’s song and how true it was in our marriage.
It didn’t matter what we were arguing about, the truth was that we are for each other. We are on the same team and our love is bigger than any of our petty conflicts. The foundation of our love is Christ.
We were also reminded that on our vacation God blessed us with an incredible, life-changing time, free of any conflicts, and how it would be foolish to allow that disagreement to close out an amazing trip.
Pride turned into humility and that night we rolled to the middle, at peace in our relationship.
I’ve been anticipating our vacation for what seems like all summer now and it’s finally here!
Tomorrow we’re flying out to the sandy shores of Lake Michigan. I experienced Lake Michigan for the first time shortly after Jeremiah and I were married as he’s from there. I fell in love with the fresh water, sand dunes, and the overall natural beauty.
We’re excited to have some R & R as a family and we’re praying it will be a time of spiritual refreshment and renewal as well. I’ll be taking a break from writing until mid-August.
I’ll look forward to jumping back into it when we get back. Until then… I won’t be doing much that requires thinking 🙂 Thankful for each of you.
Picture this. You’re walking down the street and a man screams out of a window at the top of his lungs: “Hey! Yes, I’m talking to you! I know you can be naïve and foolish, and I want to warn you—discern prudence and discern wisdom in your life! Cry out for it! I warn you! Cry out for wisdom!”
Strangely enough, this is how I picture the urgency that is invoked in these verses. If the writer could literally shout out from the pages of Proverbs into our hearts, he most certainly would want us to see the need for wisdom in our lives.
Discarding wisdom could cost your whole life. There is a necessity to cry out to God for wisdom because wisdom is not from people, but from God. We cannot discern wisdom in our own strength. God says to ask for wisdom without doubting and you’ll receive it generously.
Are you applying wisdom to your heart and embracing it with all you have? Keep along the path of wisdom, and your life will continue to abound in fruit. Keep along the path of foolishness and your life will be destructive.
Contrasting Wisdom and Foolishness:
Wisdom: Help others with good advice, Enjoy wisdom, Cautious with reason, Seek knowledge, Value wisdom above riches, Receive life, Respond to correction, Pursue wisdom, Profit from correction, Trust in wisdom, Control anger, Admired as counselors, Rewarded with knowledge, Keep peace, Stay on straight paths, Avoid wicked paths, Have great advice
Foolishness: Lack judgment, Enjoy foolishness, Gullible, Avoid the wise, Feed on foolishness, Receive punishment, Respond to punishment, Pursue illusive dreams, An example to others (proud), Trust in self, Unleash anger, Inherit folly, Stir up anger, Go in the wrong way, Walk a troublesome path, Will never be chosen as counselor
This past year, eternity has been on my mind a lot. A close friend of our family was diagnosed with breast cancer, tragedy struck with the loss of an old friend, and I’ve experienced hardships in motherhood and marriage and my own sinful nature.
While I often ask God to remove trials from me and to keep me from pain, I have been molded and shaped the most in the valleys of life.
The valleys are where fruit is produced- not on the mountaintops. God gives me mountaintops for a season to encourage me, but the real work of my faith happen in the valleys- in the everyday, mundane details of life.
Trials and suffering remind me that this earth is not my home, even though sometimes I’d really like for it to be. Trials bring me to my knees in humility. They cause me to confess that God is all I have when life lets me down and when hardships are just too heavy.
At the time, I often hate going through the valleys, but God has used them in my life to keep my focus and perspective on Christ. And somehow on down the road I end up being thankful for them. I’m thankful that God grew me and that I’m not the same person I was.
At the end of the day, none of us are alone in the struggles of life, whatever they might be. Our hope is in Jesus alone and one day, our pain and tears will be no more. We have a great hope awaiting us!
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things have passed away. – Revelation 21:4
The song You Hold Me Now has encouraged my faith in so many ways lately. I first heard it during worship at Watermark Church in Dallas and I fell in love with it. It is such a beautiful expression of Revelation 21:4. Here it is played at the gorgeous Hillsong Chapel in Australia.
My heart was heavy with such a big change on the horizon. Jackie, our Senior Publisher who I worked closely with, had just peeped into my office to say she couldn’t believe I was packing up my things. I couldn’t either. Everything felt so surreal.
Two and a half years ago, God had given me my dream job as a writer and editor for one of the largest Christian video publishing companies. I worked with incredibly talented people and rubbed shoulders with many well-known pastors and authors. I loved that our team was on mission everyday and that God was using us to impact churches all across the country. It seemed like every day I came home from work, I had something exciting to share.
But just as the summer heat was settling down to welcome the coolness of fall, God was planting my feet on a new mission…
I had a few more thoughts I wanted to share from Sunday’s post about Scott McCreedy. There is no doubt at all that Scott was a man of influence. That post happens to be at 1,000 page views according to WordPress and Google stats and the number is climbing- all because Scott touched so many lives and people are searching for his name all over the country and world.
One of Scott’s classmate’s Erin wrote in a Facebook comment, “We have much to learn from him.” Her words are so wise as they demand that we take a good look at ourselves and see where we can be like Scott. Here are a few things I saw from a distance in his life that are worth emulating:
*Scott loved his family.
*Scott loved people.
*Scott was Scott and never tried to be someone else.
*Scott was selfless and served our country, even if it meant major hardship and sacrifice.
*Scott was sensitive and open to God and found comfort from God’s word.
Run to God
Those of you who knew Scott and are struggling, I want to encourage you that God loves you. In a tragedy like this, we can either run from God or draw close to him. Often, the natural response is to run and reject God. Our pride gets in the way and we grow bitter. But that always makes things worse and as time goes by, we end up getting nowhere.
Though it’s tempting, don’t run.
Cling to Him with all you have for strength. Cry out to Him for help. Give him your anger, fear, and worry. Tell him what’s on your heart.
Ask God to give you comfort and peace in this time and to reveal areas where you need to change. I’m asking God the same.
Take time to process and reflect on your life. Who are you living for? Yourself or God? If you died today, are you 100% sure you would go to heaven? The Bible says that God so loved the world that he gave his only son, that whoever believes in Him, should not perish but have everlasting life (John 3:16).
Belief requires a commitment, an action of placing your faith in the person of Jesus. You’re recognizing that you’re a sinner and that nothing good is in you apart from God.
You recognize that it is by grace that God can save you and there is nothing you can do to earn salvation. You recognize that good works won’t get you to heaven, but the free gift of grace alone.
When you place your faith in Christ, He is the one that changes you. You don’t have to clean yourself up first. That’s God’s job. He changes your desires.
Trusting in Christ is not a religion or a list of rules and legalism. It’s a relationship with your Creator, God who wants to know you personally. Who died to save you, who rose from the dead, and who is coming again. He will never fail you and He is your hope.
Let’s carry Scott’s legacy with us always. Let’s grow and learn together and share our struggles so we can be healed (James 5:16). Let’s love because love covers a multitude of sins (1 Pet. 4:8). Let’s be changed people and make a difference in the world for God’s glory and not let evil and darkness win again.
We have much to learn from you Scott. Thank you for your legacy to all of us. You are loved and we’ll see you soon enough.
I remember taking classes with Scott, that he was a gifted soccer player, was one of the first guys in our class to grow facial hair, and that everyone liked Scott (especially the girls!).
I graduated from high school with him in 2000. From 2000-2009, I didn’t know Scott but when we reconnected on Facebook a few years ago, I found out he had served our country in the Navy as a rescue swimmer and I was so proud of him.
In July 2009, he sent a Facebook message to me out of the blue that I had saved. Here’s what it said:
I just wanted to let you know that I am really enjoying reading your Blogs… I am going through a tough transition in my life and your thoughts/words are really helpful… thanks and god bless…. keep reaching out, there are alot out there who need it.
Best for you and your family,
I didn’t know Scott was reading my blog and ironically, I was going through a time where I wanted to quit blogging. His note encouraged me to keep pressing on and that God was speaking to his heart. Just a few weeks ago, he “liked” a new Facebook page I had created and a quote I posted by A.W. Tozer. I was very appreciative of his continued support and encouragement with my writing.
That was the last I really “heard” from him and yesterday I found out the shocking news that he had taken his life. I had trouble sleeping last night and my heart just breaks again today. My husband has been helping me process it all.
Scott’s father wrote a very thoughtful post on Facebook explaining Scott’s struggle with depression and his request that we pray for God’s mercy and love. I appreciated that his father took the time to share his heart. It helped bring peace to my heart.
Many people I know battle with depression, anxiety, and hopelessness on a daily basis. I have dealt with some anxiety and depression (postpartum) after having my second child. No one ever fully knows a person’s situation or struggle and the darkness they feel. I think it’s important to be compassionate and not judgmental towards those who are experiencing such inner turmoil and pain.
I am thankful that on the cross, Jesus crushed sin and death once and for all and that today, our ultimate hope is in Him. The historical resurrection of Christ is our present hope that Jesus will fulfill his promises in the future when he will heal the hurting hearts and bring life to those who love and trust in Him.
I believe that Scott is with His Savior and that all his tears and pain have been wiped away. My heart is sad because his life has been cut short, but I’m looking forward to when we will all experience a fullness and an abundance to life that none of us have yet seen or known.
We love you Scott and you will be missed greatly.
** Additional resources if you’re grieving the loss of a loved one: