When God Interrupts Your Plans


Photo: Lisa Francis

Three years ago today, our William Daniel was born on a beautiful Monday morning in Dallas. If you’ve followed this blog for a period of time, you may remember my announcement of being pregnant with Will. I was on birth control and exclusively breastfeeding. I found out when my third child, Hannah, was only four months old.

And I cried, oh did I cry. I questioned. I even threw my pregnancy test. How in the world could I be ready for a 4th child – right after just having Hannah? I barely had time to recover from her birth. I was numb and in disbelief, more so thinking about how I would be able to carry the load I already couldn’t bare. Jeremiah and I desired to have four children, but had wanted to wait a few years.

Would I take God at his word? Would I trust him for the strength I needed to survive life with four young children, 5 and under? Ultimately, would I accept this surprise gift as God’s sovereign will for my family and me? It was only a matter of days when God clearly showed me to be still and to surrender control. I accepted this precious gift from God’s hands and kept giving the baby inside me to God. It was a great testing of my faith.

IMG_9432When God interrupts our plans, it is uncomfortable and many times fear and worry consumes our hearts: an unplanned pregnancy, a job change, an unexpected illness, a detour in daily plans, a career change, or perhaps a waiting period that is just too long. But it is often in these diversions, we remember that we are not in control. We cannot be dependent on our circumstances, on people, or even ourselves. We cannot manipulate God’s will and it is then that we have to make a choice:

Surrender or become bitter.

We can murmur, complain, get angry, throw things, and stew on the disappointment. We can shake our fists at God. Or, we can trust that even though we don’t understand what we’ve been given, God is working for our good and loves us. As our heavenly father, he knows what is best for us and yes, even what we can handle. We can surrender control over to him and sometimes that might look like a constant giving over, at every new sunrise because it isn’t always a one time thing.

I think the greatest thing I’ve learned when plans don’t go my way is that of humility. Pride says, “I’ve got this figured out. I’m in control. I’m pretty good at knowing the way. I am the master of my destiny.” Humility says, “I don’t have life figured out. I need a Savior whom I can depend on. I need his guidance and direction every moment of my life. I need Jesus in all of life’s circumstances.”

IMG_5390Well, the last three years with Will have been an absolute joy. He completes our family and is our baby. He is full of life, energy, intelligence, silliness, and a deep love for his siblings. God knew what he was doing even though I didn’t see it on the results of my pregnancy test. He did know what I was capable of handling even on the days I have pulled my hair out!

And just like that, Will is three. We put away our last crib a few months ago, which felt surreal. He’s now in a big boy bed, partially potting training, saying all kinds of words, and goes to morning preschool in the fall. I love watching him grow and being his Mommy. I know that the days are long, but the years are short and it goes way too fast to even realize it.

I still have plenty of days where family life feels like it is spinning out of control with four kids, but I’m always reminded that not being in control is a pretty good place to be.

Happy Birthday, Will Will. You are loved so, so much!


What I Want My Daughters to Know About Beauty & Worth


“Momma, I need some lips,” my 3 1/2 year old daughter Hannah exclaims while we are shopping the aisles at our grocery store. “Lips” is our word for lipstick. She heads over to the makeup section and grabs a lipstick off the shelf.

“I need this one,” she says. I smile as she chooses the bright red colored one, like Taylor Swift’s choice lipstick color.

I could use that color, I think to myself knowing that I will end up using it more than Hannah will. I’ve always had a lipstick-lip gloss obsession.

What Really Makes You Beautiful

Now that I’m a mom of four – two that are girls – who are looking up to me as I put on my makeup in the mirror each morning, I’m realizing the great responsibility I have in raising them to understand what really makes us beautiful and worthy as women. Is it the bronze powdered blush, the lengthy eyelashes, the shiny lip gloss, the wavy hair, and flattering outfits? Is it being, trim, fit, fashionable, and attractive?

In a culture that is obsessed with image, how do I communicate to my girls that beauty is only skin deep as the cliche goes? I remember the feelings I had in middle school seeing the magazine covers and trying to measure up to a standard of beauty, only to fail. I remember wanting all the clothes that were in style – staring into the mirror and wondering if I looked anything like the gorgeous, airbrushed model staring back at me.

Many times when I tell our girls they are pretty, I will follow up and say, “You’re beautiful, but did you know what? Your heart is even more beautiful and what’s inside is what matters most.”


I’m not sure if they’re getting it yet – they’re young – but I am praying these truths will sink in as they grow older. I want them to know that they are beautiful masterpieces in God’s sight and that they don’t need to chase the world’s affirmation for that or a boy’s approval. They don’t have to compare to an instagram feed, another person’s selfie, or the magazines at the checkout counter. They don’t have to look for love in all the wrong places because they are already deeply loved and accepted by their heavenly Father.

Heart, Soul, & Spirit

I want my daughters to know that the hidden person of the heart is where imperishable beauty is found. The beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit is what we should desire most (rather than how the world is telling us to act or be). It is what is most precious in God’s sight. (1 Peter 3:3-4). I love that Scripture is not murky in this area but is crystal clear that we’re to work diligently on our hearts and inward beauty regarding:

  • Our character & values
  • Our attitudes
  • Our thought-life
  • What we allow to consume & influence us
  • What directs & shapes our heart
  • Our strength in times of testing/adversity
  • The core of our very soul

This doesn’t mean we don’t take good care of ourselves, wear nice clothes, and desire to look acceptable and even beautiful. I think we all desire and aim for that. I strive to take good care of myself for my husband and children, family, and friends. I love makeup, jewelry, and a nice tan. The problem is when it’s an obsession that consumes me and when I put more work into my outward appearance rather than my heart, then I need to change and consider where I’m placing my identity and value.

Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. – Prov. 31:30


Jesus Makes You Radiant

I’ve certainly had mornings where I was all dressed up and ready to go, but my heart was far from the Lord. Out of the heart, the mouth speaks and my words weren’t pretty. My inner beauty was lacking and my children and husband saw my sour attitude and felt it. I’ve told my husband many times, “I need to get in the Word before I start this day. I need to say Good Morning, Lord, before I say Good Morning to anything else!”

We’ve all encountered women at some point in our lives who were drop-dead gorgeous, but nasty and ugly in character and attitude. We’ve also known women who might not be considered pretty by the world’s standards, but their heart, character, and happy smile made them so, so incredibly beautiful. Their inward joy radiates into the lives of others.

If there’s anything I really want my daughters to grasp, it is that they don’t have to be on a constant chase, like I was so often growing up. Even raised in a loving, Christian home, I didn’t always rest in the truth that love was right there with me and it was in Jesus – the author of love and absolute perfection. I want my daughters to know that it is Christ in us, who ultimately makes us radiant as his spirit is lived out in our lives. It is in Christ where we find all the fullness of love, acceptance, worth, joy, and hope.

As women, we are made in his image. Created by him no matter what shape, size, and features he has given us. We are his. Working on the inner beauty of our heart is worth every effort, no matter how difficult our days may be and even when our pride says not to do the hard work of focusing on our inner person.

Make no mistake, the inward beauty of your heart will eventually spill out into the lives of other people and it will be contagious.

You are seen. You are Known. You are Loved.



Mommas Need Good Friday Too


I don’t remember exactly what my son had done that afternoon, but it involved disobedience. I remember where we were – in our backyard on a hot summer’s day in Texas. He was pushing my buttons at just the right time. He continued with his defiance and it was in that moment that I grabbed him and lashed out at him, yelling and all. There is a point as mommas when we discipline for correction and there is a line that we cross when we break a child’s spirit. I had done the latter.

Anger filled my heart. And I was done. I wanted to throw in the towel. Guilt and shame flooded my soul for the way I had hurt him – my precious first born baby whom I loved with all my heart and soul.

After cooling off and just wanting to hide in a corner, I confessed my sin to the Lord and to my son. “I’m sorry, John. Mom is struggling and the way I treated you was wrong. Will you forgive me?”

“Of course, Mom. I love you,” were his words.

Oh the forgiveness that I did not deserve. But with welcoming, child-like faith my son accepted my apology. He loved me anyway and our relationship was restored.

I don’t know where you are in your journey in motherhood, but perhaps like me you’ve been there. Maybe today. You see your brokenness, humanity, and sinful nature for what it is and it ain’t pretty. You would rather isolate and not expose it for what it is. You carry burdens of shame and guilt. You don’t know how to manage it. You know that you simply can’t on your own. I get it.

Jesus does too.

By His Wounds You are Healed

Because of the costly price of our sin, Jesus took care of the enormous debt we could not pay. Because of our sin and weakness, he willingly went to the cross to be crucified. He suffered, he bled, and he died a criminal’s death.

His love ran red for you. His blood on the cross took care of your sin problem. And by his wounds, you are healed.

His wounds save you from the outbursts of anger, the covetousness, the discontentment, the cursing, the lusts of your flesh, the struggle with control, the need for approval, the desire to have more, the need to be successful, the intense struggle with your children, the pride and more.

You see, Good Friday is not just for the church-goer on Sunday morning but doesn’t yet have a real faith in Jesus, but it is for the one who is broken. It is for those who know their great and desperate need for a Savior. Good Friday is not only for the businessman, social worker, doctor, teacher, politician, and more but it is also for the Momma who is weary and trembling in her calling to raise up her children in the way they should go.

Mommas need Good Friday too. And Jesus was thinking of you on the cross. He understands your struggle and suffering too. The truth is that we can’t manage our sin in motherhood, but Jesus can. The truth is that we don’t have it all together and we need his grace every hour.

Stop Doubting & Believe

After Jesus’ victory over death and sin and after he rose from the dead, doubting Thomas still struggled to believe that Jesus was who he said he was – the Messiah. The Savior of the world. More importantly, his personal Savior.

After the resurrection when Jesus was with his disciples, he said to Thomas, “Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.”

And Thomas responded: “My Lord and my God!”

Thomas had touched his Savior’s wounds. The proof was before his eyes. Jesus was the Son of God. He had no excuse not to believe.

And Jesus said to him, “Because you have seen Me, have you believed? Blessed are they who did not see, and yet believed” (John 20:26-29).

He is for You

There is much we don’t see in our calling as mommas, but do we still believe that Jesus is who he said he is? Do we believe that his wounds have set us free in our struggle with sin and will continue to set us free in the hard days to come?

The good news, Momma, is that the burdens of shame and guilt that you carry have been covered by Jesus’ blood on the cross. I know it’s hard to believe, but you can live in victory over your sin by his strength and in his power. And he is fully able to help make you the Momma you desire to be.

He sees you. He knows you. He is for you as you shepherd the hearts of your children.

And it is in fact, a very, very, Good Friday.

Blessings to you,



Writing Platform: Staying True to Who You Are


If you’ve followed along with me for some time in this little space, you may remember that my husband and I submitted a book proposal on marriage to one of my favorite Christian publishers in 2015. After one of my articles went viral in 2013, the publisher reached out and asked about my interest in writing a book. Some of you have asked about the status of the project and I felt I should update you here.

The whole experience has been such an honor talking with the Associate Publisher, brainstorming ideas, conducting interviews, doing research, writing the proposal, dreaming of it impacting our audience, and sending it off. After months and months of waiting, we heard back and were told that as first-time authors the publisher was going to have trouble getting the proposal through the publishing board who looks carefully at prior book sales and author platform. We were so far in the process and were sad to receive that news, but we accepted that this may not be the right timing. Or the right project. I had peace in my heart because I knew God was in control. We had played our part.

Many wonderful authors today experienced rejection after rejection before their idea sold. Part of the back story on this proposal is that I had submitted another one prior to it that didn’t make it. So that makes two rejections. I remember the words from my chancellor in college,

“You do not determine a man’s greatness by his talent or his wealth or his education. But you determine a man’s greatness by what it takes to discourage him.”

The publisher mentioned other options as far as us putting our book online chapter by chapter, and soliciting feedback and building an audience for the book before it is published. I have thought about shopping the proposal to different publishers or coming up with a whole new idea for a different audience. An author friend of mine said she would be happy to pass the proposal on to her literary agent which I’m highly considering.

But as of now I’m praying about the direction to go as I don’t want to give up on the idea. There are no books currently on the market like it. And platform? Well, platform is a big deal in the publishing industry. It’s important to have a large audience and influence for book sales. Your book has to make money after all and publishers take great risks. But I also know that God is the ultimate one who builds my platform. It is not something that I craft or manipulate with my own hands. That’s not to say I don’t play my part, but I leave the results to the Lord.

First Baptist Church Holyoke

My husband has been a testament to this as I’ve watched him wait on the Lord for many years until God fulfilled his plan for him in full-time ministry and to now see his faithfulness rewarded as he is now leading a wonderful congregation of believers as lead pastor. As his wife, I’ve witnessed his platform in the home and in the workplace and it has been one of service, patience, love, faithfulness, integrity, humility, perseverance, and more. To me, platform is about serving others. As Jesus says, “the greatest must become the least.” So in whatever capacity God gives me to serve, I will accept it as my platform.

I also have to stay true to who I am in my dream to author books and do my part in working diligently. I can’t allow a “no” to discourage me from God’s calling on my life to keep writing. It sure is tempting though to give up and just focus on the writing assignments I have at hand. It is tempting to make excuses and say I’m too busy, have too many kids, or just simply can’t balance it all. Which is all true, but I still don’t want to give up on my dream. I know the hard work isn’t in vain.

My five-year-old daughter Rebekah reminds me of someone who is absolutely true to herself. She doesn’t mold into someone she is not. She lives on the edge, walking barefoot near the road (it drives me crazy). She will often get out a piece of paper and her paint brushes and create the most beautiful picture from her imagination. She is artistic, spicy, smart, and introverted. God has specific plans for her gifting as I know he does for me. I don’t think she is the least bit worried in how God will choose to use her either. She inspires me in her childlike faith.


Recently, our friend Scott who has traveled the writing journey with us and leads one of the largest pre-marital ministries in the country emailed a few weeks ago saying to keep going and not give up. He has read just about every Christian marriage book on the planet. He strongly believes in our idea, writing, and his words were just what I needed to hear to get me back on the road again. I love how God uses the body of Christ when we need a gentle push.

Well right now, the proposal sits on my computer but I plan on taking action with it in the coming weeks. I would love your prayers as I seek to know if God has further plans for it. If he doesn’t have a plan for this particular project, I’m okay with that. I will continue writing. But I want to be faithful to at least keep trying and to not let any discouragement keep me down.

Thank you for reading!



3 Reasons Why Being “Bored” Helps Your Kids Thrive


Navigating the tricky waters with four kids, 7 and under, I often hear the oldest two express after school, on a day off, or on the weekend: “Mom, I’m so bored!”

So I begin to think about a really good response for my kids. In our culture today, it’s like it’s a sin to be bored. With technology at our fingertips and where everyone and every thing is producing and occupied by something, how is it okay to simply not do anything? To simply be?

I eventually come up with a suitable response: “Good, that’s a good thing. It is good to be bored!” I say with confidence – pronouncing the “good” – not wanting to give into the temptation to let them play a game on my phone.

My son looks at me strange but by the second week…

Read the rest of the article on For the Family. 

Fighting For Your Family

boxing_wallpaper1337Several Sundays ago, we were getting ready for church and from across the hallway you could hear screaming and yelling. There was an all out brawl in our living room over which child took the other’s pink story Bible.

“No, it’s mine!” my five-year-old daughter yells.

“No, I want it! I want it!” my three-year-old daughter yells back. After some hair pulling and name calling, the three-year-old then runs from her sister and into our bedroom hiding from her sister with a sneaky face.

I still had to do my hair and finish putting my mascara on because you know, we had to be at church in 20 minutes. I was still waking up too because I’m not a morning person. I could barely handle the noise level and sibling rivalry. The yells and screams were shattering to my ears. After some discipline and working out the conflict, I assured my three-year-old that she’d get her own Bible one day and that was enough to dissolve the chaos…

Read the rest of the article over at FortheFamily.org. 

Strong God, Strong Mom


At the beginning of the year, my husband and I were asked to speak for my mother’s group on the topic of marriage. During our talk, I shared some stories on how our kids have impacted our relationship and how I struggle at times with anger and control in raising our four young children. Sharing the more raw details of life can be a scary risk that involves vulnerability but I always figure that if it can help someone else, being authentic is worth it.

Well after our talk, one of my mom friends who I respected and was a “super mom” in my eyes, came up to me and said how much she related to what I had to say.

“Really?” I asked her…

Read the rest on FortheFamily.org




Loving the Man God Gave You


A few months ago, my husband found a killer deal for a nice bed frame off Craigslist that he wanted to get for us. We’d been married 9.5 years and had never experienced the thrills of a king-sized bed. The problem was that it was nap time for our kids and we had to drive his chevy pick up truck in order to haul the frame and mattresses and comforter and so on. Not to mention the air conditioner on his truck was out, and the trip was not exactly a hop, skip, and a jump.

“I don’t know about this trip,” I told Jeremiah who thrives on spontaneity. “We’ve got to haul a lot of stuff and our four needy kids.”

“It will be fine,” he responded. “They can sleep on the way.”

It will be fine. Those four famous last words…

Read the rest over on Forthefamily.org

Learning to Release Your Children to The Lord


It had been a normal Saturday with my husband and two year old son, John. We had plans to enjoy the morning at the lake. We parked our car and walked to the bridge where the geese and ducks were. The setting and serenity were perfect. My son stuck close to us as we showed him the beauty of God’s creation. Bicyclers flew by us and other runners on the bridge. Out of nowhere, my son darts out in the middle of the path just as a bicycler is heading straight for him. He screams, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Get out of the way!” My heart stopped…

Read the rest over on FortheFamily.org

6 Surprising Ways to Survive the Younger Years


If you’re like me and you’re in the trenches of raising young children you’ve probably at least thought or said the words, “Help! I’m in survival mode!”

This has been true for my husband and I for the last several years. Our four children are a blessing to us – a gift from God whom we love and cherish with all our hearts – but we still have our share of challenges, trials, and conflict on a daily basis.

Just a couple hours ago, my 1.5 year old took a nice big bite into my 4 year olds cheek. She was screaming with tears running down her face simultaneously with my cranky 3 year old who has a runny nose and fever. Meanwhile, my 6 year old is in the bathroom having a hard time, and well, let’s just say there was a mess to clean up…

Read the rest here

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