Last night as I was putting my girls down to bed, my oldest daughter Rebekah wanted to talk. She brought up memories from the accident Jeremiah was in 3 years ago. I knew her little mind was still processing the traumatic event. My husband was accidentally shot in the arm at our local rifle range by a neighboring shooter who misfired his gun.
All my kids were with me when I first got the phone call. They saw my fear, tears, and panic. They were upset and wondering if he was going to die. I had to pack our bags fast to get to the hospital 2.5 hours away to meet my husband traveling by ambulance.
“Mommy, I was so scared for dad,” Rebekah said. “I still have bad dreams that you both are going to die.”
My heart ached for her as she poured out her words. “But when you had to leave that day, I remember Susan giving me a warm washcloth and putting it on my neck. I remember Jill taking care of us overnight at her house. I didn’t really sleep.”
Susan is a dear friend and member in our church who helped take over the day of the accident, and Jill is a precious friend and neighbor across the street. There were many others who came to our rescue.
I’d no idea about the washcloth and it made me tear up. I wasn’t surprised Susan would do such a thing, but it really hit me how God was tenderly taking care of my kids through other people.
“Why didn’t you come back to get us?” Rebekah asked. I explained to her how daddy was in a lot of pain and we had to stay at the hospital for surgeries.
I affirmed her feelings and assured her that the most important thing we can remember from that day, no matter how scary it was, is that God protected daddy from life-threatening injuries. His angels were present. I told her how much we missed her and her siblings while we were away.
Our conversation got me thinking of how as a mom, I can’t always be present with my kids. There are just times in life where we have to entrust them to Someone greater. I had to be with my husband and be present with him in his deepest pain. It was a very desperate and delicate time.
Many of us experience entrusting our children to the Lord on a daily basis. And it’s not easy at all especially when we’re so used to having them under our fingertips as toddlers. As they grow older, you realize how much more you have to release control when:
- dropping your child off to VBS or camp for the first time
- letting your kids ride their bikes freely around the neighborhood
- entrusting another person’s care for your child while you’re at work
- allowing them to fail at something and learn from their mistakes
- helping them work through crazy conflicts with others or being left out
- needing a date night and leaving them with the babysitter
- hoping they won’t be scarred from their siblings’ hurtful words at times
- releasing them to Kindergarten, middle school, or high school in the fall and More
We have natural concerns and fears for their safety, protection, and well-being. But when we allow the Lord to take care of what we cannot, it grows our faith and trust in Him on a deeper level. We remember that God is their Father and Provider. He is the One we desire for them to turn to for all their needs as they continue to grow.
We trust Him to work out the details that seem insurmountable as parents. We know our strength is limited and by night time, we’re ready to throw in the towel and sit on the couch.
Your heart may feel frantic right now as you think about entrusting your children to God’s care. You may be consumed by fear and the “what if’s.” You’re not alone one bit! But never forget that God loves your children more than you do. His love is perfect and His ways are perfect. He uses pain and conflict in their life to stretch and grow them.
After our talk, I walked upstairs with tears in my eyes wishing I could’ve been there for her those first few days of my husband’s accident. But, I’m so thankful she shared with me her fears so now we can talk more about them. I’m thankful she shared details with me I didn’t know before. She’s still processing and I am too.
God shows up through warm washcloths and wipes away our tears when we need Him most.
Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife and mom to 4. She is the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches. Her writing appears regularly on Her View From Home, TODAY Parenting, and For the Family. Connect with her on Instagram and Facebook.