Almost five years ago, our son Will was born on a beautiful Monday morning in Dallas. Before Jeremiah and I learned we were pregnant with Will, I was on birth control and exclusively breastfeeding. I found out when my third child, Hannah, was only four months old.
And I cried, oh did I cry. I questioned. I even threw my pregnancy test. How in the world could I be ready for a 4th child – right after just having Hannah? I barely had time to recover from her birth. I was numb and in disbelief, more so thinking about how I would be able to carry the load I already couldn’t bare. Jeremiah and I desired to have four children, but had wanted to wait a few years.
I remember walking into Starbucks with my double stroller and my oldest son walking next to me, and getting all kinds of stares. “Wow, your hands are full!” are what the baristas would typically say. I’d smile and join in conversation yet deep down I was still thinking:
Oh man. My hands are full now and they don’t know that I’ve got another one growing inside me!
Trusting in God’s timing was a true test of my faith. Would I lean on the Lord to carry me through physically, emotionally, and spiritually? Would I trust that his ways are different and wiser than my own?
Perhaps you’re facing your own doubting in God’s timing for your life: an unfulfilled dream, unplanned move, career change, an unexpected diagnosis, a season of unwanted depression, a broken marriage, or more. Maybe you’ve had your life planned out exactly how you desired and something is really upsetting the apple cart.
You’ve found yourself saying, “Why now, God? What on earth are you doing with my life?”
You may be tempted to believe that God is not good, loving, or that His hands are in sovereign control of your life. As the serpent said to Eve in the garden, you find yourself doubting:
“Did God really say?…” (Genesis 3:1)
You know that God’s ways are not your own, but you’re tempted to let go of your faith because life’s not going how you planned.
Rest assured, there really is a better way than to doubt and question – even when God welcomes our weaknesses and understands our humanity.
Isaiah 40:31 says, “But they who wait for the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall run and not be weary; they shall walk and not faint.”
Here’s the truth. The better way is to wait.
Even in the upsets of life’s timing and how unpredictable it is, God renews the strength of those who wait on him. Like an eagle who soars effortlessly as high as the heavens, you can soar above the trials and sufferings as you hope in the Lord for his answers and provision.
You’ll run and not be exhausted. You’ll walk and not pass out from the burdens weighing you down. You’ll be raised out of the valley and onto the mountaintop. God promises to uphold you when you’re waiting on Him.
Charles Spurgeon once said, “God is too good to be unkind and He is too wise to be mistaken. And when we cannot trace his hand, we must trust his heart.”
Will you trust God simply for who He is? Sovereign. Caring. Gracious. Merciful. All-loving. All-powerful. Perfect. Faithful. Just. Holy. Glorious. And so much more.
It’s hard to believe Will turns five on Sunday, August 5th. He isn’t so baby anymore. When I was pregnant with him, I still remember the feelings well. God was patient with me in my questions. He knew what I needed when Will was conceived – even when I couldn’t wrap my mind around the miracle.
I picked up my pregnancy test from the wooden floor and told Jeremiah, “Alright, this is it. This is God’s plan.” And we did the next thing in front of us – which translated to my husband remodeling our master bathroom!
Today, I can’t imagine our family without Will’s outgoing personality, loving spirit, and high-energy hugs on your legs that come at you like a bulldozer. I still give him as many kisses on his cheeks as I did when he was a newborn!
And you better believe that next year when he goes to Kindergarten I’ll be crying again.
Samantha
Samantha Krieger is a pastor’s wife and mom to 4. Through personal stories and scripture, she is passionate about helping women live out their faith in real life. She is the author of Quiet Time: A 30-day Devotional Retreat for Moms in the Trenches.
