This past Monday, I was a wreck. I went on my morning run to try to get rid of the mess inside of me. But even after listening to encouraging worship songs and working up a good sweat, I was tired, cranky, emotional, and irrational in my thought life. I couldn’t escape it all day long no matter how hard I tried.
If you’ve ever heard of the H.A.L.T. acronym that stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, and Tired, you know that sin is creeping at your door when you have one, two, three, or all of these going on. And that you truly do need to halt! My issue was the T. My husband and children took the grunt of my exhaustion. My words and actions weren’t exactly a portrait of the Proverbs 31 woman.
I felt like giving up as a wife and mom. Tears ran fast and down my pillow that evening.
My sins are numerous, I thought. I just can’t get it together. Everywhere I turn I create a disaster.
Well, I don’t know if you’ve ever been there but it can be so discouraging when your sinful nature is not tamed and you feel like some sins you’ll never be able to overcome.
I remembered how tired I was and began to think rational again. I knew many of my reactions were due to that. I played my part by getting God’s word in my heart, settling down, and asking forgiveness. I remembered the verse:
Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. – 1 Peter 4:8
I drew upon this truth because the Enemy’s lies in my head were:
You’re not good enough
You can’t handle this
God is ripping you off
You will never overcome
And then in that moment God’s word began to flood my soul with life-giving words:
You are enough
You can handle everything in my strength
I love you
I will help you overcome
Truth tells me that no matter how far I stray, love still covers a multitude of sins. My love for Jesus covers that. My love for those closest to me. And even the acceptance of myself.
Even on our very worst days, love still covers the darkest corners of our homes – the ugliest moments in marriage and motherhood. When we have failed those we love dearly, all the other 1,000 moments of love in a week that we have bestowed on them still trumps the 100 sins that have made us feel like an absolute failure of a wife and mom.
There is no sin that hasn’t been covered by his blood.
Jesus understands our brokenness and thank goodness, his love never stops covering us – day in and day out. If you’ve found yourself swallowed by your own wake of disaster and exhaustion, know that you are loved, forgiven, bought at a high price, and set free from that sin. His grace is always available to draw upon in your time of need.
And by all means, HALT when you need to.
Cheering you on in the trenches,